I hereby officially blame Nick for making me do Switzerland at this point - but it wasn't worth it. It does look like everything that you would expect a Siegle and Meinunger production to look like - including the Israeli Kdam choreography and the hands up at the end as everyone within a million miles of this hall could have predicted.

Spencer Tramm (Current British Drag Racing Champion) - says that "This is the bastard child of 'Kinder, Children, Enfant' and 'Millennium of Love' - therefore it's good". Spencer drives pink cars and is therefore inherently wrong about everything. Yes, it is a bastard child and it's sung badly - especially the first note which has been off cue on the last five attempts ... But still, people around me think this is going to go well and gain votes from everyone. It's just over the top froth, in my opinion, which is not going to do that much. BUT, and it is a big but, it looks good on the monitor feed, so you might look into their eyes, go awwwwwww and vote. But then again, that would make you huge biffas!

Moldova, on the other hand, is BIFF of the highest order. They can't sing, they certainly can't dance and in so many ways, it's horrendously bad. To explain, they have a gert big sail on the stage labelled "Loca" and they dance, badly, they attempt to sing, badly, they say "Arsenium for the new millennium" at the supposed end, and is the first song I can remember that fades away to nothing!!

We disrespected their country and left after seeing it.