Alekseev

Oh, Belarus! This is hilarious! Alekseev is in whist atop a plinth and holds a rose in his hands to which he croons. He then not-too-smoothly plops said bloom into a holder in front of the camera which whisks it away to a waiting dancer, clad in red, and engaging in some very interpretative dancing. What she’s interpreting is up for discussion but it’s frantic, whatever it is. She then draws the rose back into a crossbow and fires it towards Alekseev, who ‘catches it by letting it ‘pierce’ his hand stigmata style.

The dancing gets ever more frantic, the rose petals crumble from the stem, as overlays of petals burst over the screen, and Alekseev is hoisted above the stage on his rising plinth, turning to reveal a rent shirt with a full back rose tattoo, not un-akin to the full-buttock tattoo on Cheryl Cole’s arse. Only it’s not an actual tattoo, it’s printed into a flesh-tines undershirt that’s wrinkled up a bit like Nora Batty’s stockings.

All the while Alekseev is grinning into the camera like a chipmunk. This is quite the most ridiculous thing you’ll see at the Eurovision until Russia perches Julia Samoylova atop a mountain on Wednesday. This is all the kinds of glorious that you hope Eurovision will be. Douze points for ridiculousness. I love it!

Image Credits: Andres Putting.