Tuesday, December 7, 2021
A backing dancer for Australias Kate Miller-Heidke at Eurovision 2019

Australia – Still the proverbial ‘dog’s dinner’ on screen

This still looked absolutely fucking ridiculous on the TV Screens. That said, they managed to iron out earlier issues with the matte world on the...
Russia's Sergey Lazarev wraps up his second rehearsal

Russia – Now *that’s* how you stage a song

OK, let's break it down: Sergey and Kirkorov have produced a package that could well be irresistible. Compared directly with any of the three that...
Cat

We’re here – with added pussy!

No no, panic not regular readers of this site, I haven't gone on the turn. It's just that our apartment is near the feral...
Michela Pace at the Eurovision Song Contest 2019

Malta – Undoing the magic of Television

I'm going to let you into a secret here, OnEuropeans, the Maltese appeared to be using a classic trick to fool us into believing...
Carousel

Latvia – True blue

Carousel do a good job of a song that feels out of place in this semi-final. Or the contest in general. There was a little...
Spain's second rehearsal is bursting with joy

Spain – they’ve ballsed this right up

And the problems don't lie with Miki. He sang 'La venda' to its fullest potential (although, I still think it's two choruses too long)....

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