I've just been on the phone to Kiev, where the OnEurope uberfuhrer and unterfuhrers seem to be having significant amounts of fun. I've been asked to gloss over the fact that the Bulgarian rehearsal review will be completely made up as they can't be bothered to turn up to it, so I'll be putting my editing skills to work and putting a positive spin on that shortly.

All other reviews are prepared and ready to upload as soon as they can get their compacted butts somewhere near the wireless network - in the meantime, huge excitement as it's less than 25 minutes before GO GO MICKEY DONNA AND JOE take the stage for Ireland. Apparently Joe looks about 12 in real life, and I'm hoping that the make-up artists will manage to do a number on him before the show.

This IS rock 'n' roll.