Mr Phil explains Eurovision 2014 – 26th – 21st Place

26th - France. Because no matter how much you bounce around on stage, your song didn't have that much actual merit musically and Televoters disliked it.

25th - Slovenia. The Juries saved her on the Semi Final, However she was the start of a run of brilliant songs - totally forgettable and it was.

24th - San Marino. See above, apart from you were slap bang in the middle of the best run of songs ever. It wasn't televoter friendly.

23rd - Malta. Europe didn't like Mumfords.... Not a bad performance of a good song.

22nd - Azerbaijan. Good Ballad - TICK. Being in the wrong half of the draw - TICK. Iceland pissing on your chips because its fun? - TICK!

21st - Italy. Because, whilst shouting at *me* is a good thing, Europe don't like being shouted at and minced on the screen - It looked messy and shouty, Europe don't see any merit about that!


  1. Makes you realise what a toughie the 2014 contest was. Perhaps the best Eurovision, songwise, of this century? Can’t believe Malta and Azerbaijan ended up so low. I thought the Azeri song had a wonderful melody, quite haunting, and that instrument (not sure what it is, woodwind I think) produces such a mournful tone. A ballad of genuine quality.

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