Long suffering readers of this site have oft lamented the lack of awards presented to songs daily that are worth mentions. And so, in response to no public demand whatsoever … We are relaunching the OnEurope Eurovision Golden Fork Awards (possibly sponsored by the Retail Jewellers of Ireland, or Interpipe or Plumber’s Weekly)
Today’s outstanding contributions to the Eurovision landscape are, in order of achievement.
The OnEurope Bronze fork – A coveted prize given to those who were close, but just didn’t make the grade, today goes to:
Ana Soklic – Because she has a big shiny forehead and the fact that she managed to get through a three minute song with a gospel choir without them actually appearing on stage.
The OnEurope Silver fork – A prize given for those moments that are worthy, but not memorable enough, today goes to:
Vasil – Not for any achievement in either song writing or for performing, but for having the guts to be himself, a sparkly glitterball, and for wearing a few strips of sticky back mirror tiles on his front – it takes a certain someone to do *that*.
Bully’s Special Prize – Because you can’t beat a bit of Bully, given for those “special” moments you can’t forget, goes to:
The online press centre web team – A group of unsung heroes that have personally kept the new press centre ticking along and dealing with sound issues and impatient fan media.
Finally, today’s OnEurope Golden Fork award for achievement, presented not in association with Asparagus World (and yes that’s real) – goes to:
RTE – who have clearly decided to spend 0 Euro of Irish license payers’ money by rehashing a staging concept suited to last year’s song, and then ensuring that this year’s song is shoehorned into the same concept, thus making their singer look uncomfy in front of the 250 people that watched it live in their living rooms.
Congratulations or Commiserations to all the “Winners”? – More Tomorrow!