When I come to write these reviews, I don’t generally set out to try and rubbish a songwriter's work and, usually, try to find at least some semblance of decentness in every song.
I listened to this entry and I was really struggling. I listened to it the first time as I started to put my thoughts together, and all I could come up with was: “This is really three minutes of nothing set to music”. Then, I started to get my sensible writing hat on and try to describe this because I’m not doing a reaction video after all… I even asked other people if I was being hypercritical, but the people I asked tended to agree so I might as well just write what I feel.
This song, to me, has zero impact. If I'm not its intended audience (and a 43-year-old friend of Dorothy might not be), then who is? Is it Eurovisionistas? Well no, because they’ll go for the uptempo. Is it the casual viewer? Well no, because there is nothing in the entire three minutes for anyone to hang their hat on and deliberately choose to pick the phone up and vote for.
The song is a long three minutes when I was listening to it because it just seemed to be more monotonic than melodic, and that is more problematic than being out and out awful.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that it’s a bad song - far from it - I just can’t see who is going to bother voting for it. It will get through its semi - just - but because it’s more statistically probable than on merit. It may well struggle in the final.
Phil’s score - 2/10