United Kingdom
Remember Monday – What the hell just happened?
Oh, BBC. What the hell did just happen?
You had Remember Monday—three women who can sing the roof off, harmonise with the precision of a laser-guided missile, and charm the socks off a room. I’ve seen them live. They’re the real deal. Which makes it all the more bewildering that someone decided to hand them this.
What the Hell Just Happened? starts off like an overcaffeinated entry in a secondary school songwriting competition and never quite recovers. There’s a musical theatre impulse here—let’s be kind and call it “restless energy”—which means the song never settles for more than a few seconds. It hops genres, jerks between tempos, and throws out melodic fragments like a panicked busker who’s late for another gig.
Yes, the kids love this sort of thing, or so I’m told by people with access to 11-year-old nieces. And yes, Wicked and its ilk have trained a generation to expect tempo changes every 30 seconds like plot twists in a Netflix series. But Eurovision is not Wicked, and this isn’t musical storytelling—it’s a ‘guess the intro’ pub quiz with no punchline.
There are hints of country here, too, but don’t let the boots and guitars fool you. This isn’t country. This is genre cosplay. Beyoncé may be having a moment, and country influences can do well at Eurovision—Slow Down, Calm After the Storm, Zitti e buoni with a banjo, even. But this doesn’t commit to the bit. It just dabbles, then moves on, like a musical magpie rifling through a pile of discarded styles and hoping no one notices.
The sad part is that Remember Monday could absolutely have delivered something great. They’re vocally rock-solid, charismatic on stage, and have built a dedicated following through smart covers and well-crafted originals. They deserved better. Instead, they’ve been saddled with a song that sounds like it was focus-grouped by a room of exhausted producers who just discovered TikTok and musical theatre on the same day.
In a year where at least a handful of countries are sending actual songs—with structure, with identity, with restraint—this just feels like it fits in with so many others – it’s messy. Like someone panicked at the prospect of being boring and overcorrected into chaos.
I’ll be rooting for them. I hope they knock it out of the park vocally. But on song alone?
0 points (and a heartfelt apology to the trio for what they’ve been asked to carry)