Monty’s Eurovision Countdown Part 22 – Latvia

I’ve a lot in common with Citi Zeni; like them I also enjoy eating my veggies and saving the polar bears. I love that Eurovision is embracing its inner vegan. Being green definitely is sexy as fuck. We don’t share the same taste in everything though; no matter how fresh and juicy I certainly don’t want to eat my salad if it’s got tomato on it, for instance. What? Did you expect me to say pussy?

So, this is the one; the song that got all the tongues wagging. Yes, the one about vegetarian cunnilingus. That opening line is quite arresting, certainly unlike anything we’ve heard at Eurovision before. And of course, we’ll not be hearing it at actual Eurovision, it has to be censored, as it is here in the video. But let me come to that.

The song’s quite fun, even without the double (and single) entendres. It’s got a bit of spunk to it, if you will. There’s some sass, some funk, and a lot of cheek. The video is playful, a pastiche of Blind Date with the successful suitor’s selling point being his green credentials. I like that they’re crafting a story around plant-based and environmental ideals and painting it as desirable.

But let’s get back to the oral sex. It’s undeniably an ear-catching opening line, but its shock value is also the thing that piques your interest, and when your big USP has to be censored you might as well be chucking away your trump card. As a casual viewer, you know the ones that make up the vast majority of Eurovision’s audience, will you even have heard about the line when you tune in on the night? Suddenly a clever, cheeky idea maybe isn’t looking quite so smart.

I wonder if they’d get away with bussy? I mean, that would change my opinion of the entire menu…

My marks: 6 points

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