Phil’s Eurovision Countdown 2022 – Part 29 – Norway

Subwolfer – Give that Wolf a Banana

This is all shades of wrong. Literally all of them, not just some of them that Eurovision puts out every year to help the “traditional media” (to use an EBU phrase) get people who are hard of thought to decry the contest on (say) BBC forums, or the comments section of your country’s version of The Daily Mail. But every single shade.

This is what happens when fetishism meets Eurovision (the two could be exactly the same in some people’s eyes). It’s two men (I presume men, they are deliberately ambiguous) dancing around in pup masks (go and look that up if you dare … NSFW) singing a song which makes literally no sense. And it may be the bastard child of Mary Whitehouse and Barbara Woodhouse (the ageing population will get both of those references).

It’s not about being sensible. It’s about the Norwegians looking at the Contest and going: “shit, look at all the dullards. Let’s remember its an entertainment show.” They do that, they entertain! They make you smile, and I guarantee you that somewhere this is going to be a massive summer hit – exactly what some bands look for.

Will it win? Hell no! It’ll come closer than people think, especially those who deride the Contest, because that’s what the cool kids do. Verka has built a career internationally, as have other “joke” acts, so who is the one in the wrong here?

At least they can spell banana – unlike their Swedish chums…

Phil’s Score – 10 Points

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