Maltaed Milks

Nick: Spy 1 to Spy 4, I’ve deciphered the code … You’ll need to watch this one with the subtitles on, I can’t make out a word she’s saying. According to my Confluence of Sound guide, however, Vodka is a transparent word, cold blood drums within, they breathe down her neck, and she has a heart-racing chill in spite of the fact that her pulse has gone dead. Incidentally, are Spy 1 and Spy 4 not, like, the worst EVER code names for a pair of spies? They could just as easily have called themselves Llandrindod Wells and Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch. Nobody would decipher THAT code! Umm, anyway, the song. Yeah. Me likes. I’ve been saying for weeks that it’s going through before Morena even starts singing, and she’s not doing anything that’s going to stop it. Looks good, sounds good, danged well is good!

Phil: If Vodka is the secret word, and she has deciphered the code, she has done very well because her performance was met with stunned silence in the press centre. A good stunned silence in the main I feel. She has not thrown everything at it, which we would have kind of expected but there are typically Maltese things involved. Lots of choreography, male dancers – all the usual shite but, and this is a big plus point for it – it does not look like it has been thrown together in 60 seconds like last year. That in itself is a relief but I think that it has actually added to the song. Her English annunciation has not gotten any better but I don’t think that actually matters. It is very energetic, Morena looks good and overall it is what it is I guess, she hits the high notes and has a powerful voice. It’s going through without a doubt.

Franko: I’ve been saying for weeks now that if anyone I know votes for Malta they will be stricken from my address book as I have no desire to ever see the damn place again as long as I live having spent a nightmarish 72 hours there at New Year. However … It’s really not that bad. In fact it’s rather good in places. The Maltese tend to do better in this contest when they keep it simple (as opposed to last year) and the girl can certainly sing (as opposed to last year). She’s backed by four gents to please the 90% who will most likely be disappeared by the Serbians before this whole thing is over who chant “na zdrove” and do some faux Russian dancing around her. The effect isn’t totally unpleasing but some of her pronunciation is a bit too accented at times. It’s going to do okay though and get through to the final. Just don’t vote for it on the 24th though… because I know where you live! You have been warned!!!

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