OnEurope’s Golden Fork awards for Day Two

As was tradition and has now become a tradition again (yeah, that’s a thing, ok?), we do a rundown of the day in our daily awards show, The OnEurope Golden Fork awards!

Today’s outstanding contributions to the Eurovision landscape are, in order of achievement.

The OnEurope Bronze fork – A coveted prize given to those who were close, but just didn’t make the grade, today goes to:

Roxen : As you will see, there is a theme here – she’s not won a prize for achievement but for making me go “What the eff is this?!” out loud in my own front room.  Mumbling hardly ever works – apart from Loreen.



The OnEurope Silver fork – A prize given for those moments that are worthy, but not memorable enough, today goes to:

Hooverphonic : For turning what I thought was a dull song into something that is worthy of not only qualifying but coming in the Top 10 of this contest by actually not being a bunch of ****, but by singing the damn song really well – and not decapitating anyone.

Bully’s Special Prize – Because you can’t beat a bit of Bully, given for those “special” moments you can’t forget, goes to:

Destiny – not for winning the Eurovision but for coping with being styled hideously and singing a damn good song really well  – It’s just a shame that she doesn’t look the part even though she sounds it.


Finally, today’s OnEurope Golden Fork award for achievement, presented not in association with Asparagus World (and yes that’s real) – goes to:

Go_A:  For presenting us with a slice of realness insofar as it’s something they do all the time, and they looked comfy doing it.  That, and they blew Efendi and Destiny out of the water.

Congratulations or Commiserations to all the “Winners”? – More Tomorrow!

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3 years ago

rehearsals day 2:

Cyprus – solid. Nothing unexpected. Does what it does. Vocals aren’t good.

Norway – If you have seen the NF performance, you know what to expect

Croatia – vocally good. Look better than Cyprus but still missing something

Belgium – A staging that serve and elevate the song. Better than what everyone were expecting.

Israel – a yes and no verdict. Some parts of staging are good , other parts need to be re-think about.

Romania – Roxane can’t handel both the singing and the dancing. Another one where everyone were complaining about the vocals.

Azerbaijan – For an uptempo song, the whole performance feel dull and uninspiring. A going by the motion performance.

Ukraine – No matter what you think about the song, Ukraine has delivered another masterpiece of staging.

Malta – Quite a disappointment, staging wise. Somehow Malta managed to f**k up the staging a bit. There is a lot of room for improvement. The outcome- Malta is no longer the hot favourite to win.

P.s. – There is a consensus that the rule for allowing pre-recorded vocals is a bad decision. Too many lead singers are relying on pre-recorded vocals, which help them carry the song.

That’s all folks