San Marino – Let me paint the scene for you

Achille Lauro at rehearsals for Eurovision 2022 in Turin
Achille Lauro at rehearsals for Eurovision 2022 in Turin

OK, so let me storyboard this for you … Our hero comes on stage with a faux leather boa and a diamonte Stetson, sings a bit of a rubbish song, then the cameras switch to his bandmates who are, seemingly, locked in two cages reminiscent of Tiswas circa 1978, followed by a guitar break where Achille Lauro mounts a diamonte studded bucking bronco and thrusts on it, all whilst the camera doesn’t know what to do.

*checks notes*
Yeah, I think that covers it.

THIS.IS.BRILLIANT. European televiewers, who have already been asked difficult questions earlier on Thursday night, will have their kids asking MORE strange questions by the end of this three minutes. Half of Europe will be throwing their hands in the air. The other half will delight in what this is: a bit of a rubbish song by a man who has tried many times to do this for Italy at Sanremo, finally getting his chance on a Europe-wide stage.

If entertainment is the name of the game, then by Christ almighty, this entertains in all of its wrong glory. The second time, the bucking bronco (clearly a euphemism) spins round faster from the start and nearly jocks poor old Achille off, but that all adds to the slapstick genius.