Austria – First Rehearsal

Well…. i call it a “rehearsal”. He wears his red bat wings T-shirt and his Gran and Aunt Ethel back him up on stage with all the tunefulness of a cracked euphonium. I don’t have the words in the English language to describe how appalling this is, but here goes…

He prances round the stage like a cat on heat clutching his balls as if his life depended on keeping them. Vocally poor, and looking like he has just got up and slept with the 3 old hags backing him. However, the assembled hacks next to me think this has a chance, however it doesnt. His voice is OK, if he was singing a decent song….. which this blatently isn’t!! The multi-coloured stage thankfully detracts from him, but those of an epileptic disposition should look away at certain moments

Mark out of 100 – 25… just for turning up…