Cesar to avenge the Sampson name at Eurovision

Cesar Sampson

Cesár Sampson has vowed to avenge the ills showered upon his family name with a second Sampson shot at the Eurovision Song Contest.

With the humiliation of Daz ‘schoolgirls in short skirts and white-boy (c)rap’ Sampson still very much the elephant in the room at family gatherings, Cesár has agreed to have a go at restoring pride to a name derived from Samson – a character in popular storybook the Old Testament.

Austrian broadcaster ORF has gone with the old ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it‘ method of picking a song for the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest. There will be no national final populated with below-par songs, ORF have decided to send Cesár Sampson with a song called ‘Nobody but you’ and be done with it.

For part-time model Sampson, it’s a step up, after a few years singing backing vocals – notably for Bulgaria when they enjoyed their two best ever results. The song will come from Symphonix International – who also had a hand in fourth-placed ‘If love was a crime‘ and last year’s runner-up: ‘Beautiful mess’.

ORF’s Television Director Kathrin Zechner seems genuinely excited: “Cesár is rhythm, he is a child of humanity, he is a voice! Cesár lives and breathes music and is an empathic artist!”

If you’ve any idea what that means, do let us know. If you’re bored, Google him for more empathic shirt-off fun.

We’ll get to hear the results some time in February.