It’s time to crush the dreams of kids – Part One

Oh no, we cant imagine that would be the case – but it is a competition after all so lets look at the videos that have put up for all the world to gawk at and se what we think.

Estonia is first up , ARKHANNA is singing on a spider’s web which makes her looks like the prey in Charlotte’s Web rather than a singer in this contest.   If this is her stage outfit, though, she is not giving it her best because it looks like an Estonian School Uniform ( Careful!).  Vocally its what you would expect, a confident vocal performance of a strident song but she is undersinging this.  Like most Estonians.

Georgia –  At least they didnt bring Shergar onto stage this year like they did in the preview video so we must be thankful.  I don ‘t know what it is about this song that makes me cringe so much – maybe its the fact they all could have stepped out of UFO or Blake’s Seven… Maybe its just shit – who knows, what we do know is that they will perform this to within an inch of its life.    Perhaps the money for the staging was all put on the 3.30 at Kempton after all?

Germany.  – A country who’s german sign language is akin to slapping oneself in the face if you get it wrong, FIA decides to bring her snooty classmate from her dancing class along with her to help no one understand this song.  30 seconds isnt going to be enough to tell the world it’s a song about getting through to her sister who can’t communicate.  It’s going to bore Europe’s kids because its not instant enough –  it bores me by the very fact its German. I think this is a lopst opportunity to tell a really great story.

Malta – She may look like Barbara Streisand, but she sounds like Barbara Windsor.  The backdrop of her being projected to all and sundry is going to be considerably off putting to anyone watching this – why would you subject a 14 yr old to this? – The vocal is not the strongest and, by that, I mean she essentially misses the notes in the 20 second clip.  Amplify that for three minutes and this could be a deliberate last.

Netherlands – They are very clever here – AVROTROS have come to win this and have poured money into this by the bucketful.  Sep and Jasmijn look all over the winners that this song makes them out to be – it looks perfect, the DJ girl looks excellent and the dancers compliment the song.  I would be shocked if this isn’t going to win? – How’s my Dutch?

North Macedonia – She is dress in a hoodie almost as though she is Straight Outta Skopje rather than being a performer.  The voice is good but the 20 second clip doesn’t give us much to go on, sadly.  My fear for this is that it is going to be lost in the sea of other good songs and could well be forgotten about.

Portugal – She changed her dress so now she looks like Miss Haversham – Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, a bit like Portugal in the contest really.  Her final three notes just killl the song stone dead and even the addition of a tree on the backdrop isn’t going to distract the viewer from this. She has got to do better when it counts.

Ukraine –  Exactly what we would expect from a child of nine on stage, it looks like a child of nine on stage singing a kids song.  It’s produced like that and Anastasia looks like a seasoned performer from Silvia Young’s stage school.  It’s very repetitive and very grating.  This will not be in the final shakeup sadly.

United Kingdom –  Nothing wrong with that at all.  Its three girls who have put the work in and are performing this song to with in an inch of it’s life in a good way and not in a bad way like some other performers in this nine.  This should hoover up a majority of 8 ad 10 points because NL are getting the 12’s.

But what do I know? – Literally nothing but see if you think differently!