Phil’s Eurovision Countdown 2022 – Part 12 – Estonia

STEFAN – Hope

I know they say that imitation is the purest form of flattery, but one listen of this song and you would have imagined, if he had still been alive, Sergio Leone would have been on the phone to his lawyers asking them to make STEFAN an offer he really couldn’t refuse.

Within the first few bars, anyone of my age would put in mind of ‘For a Few Dollars More’ followed by ‘Big Country’, and then proceed to name another fifteen cowboy films that this reminds you of but not ‘Two Mules for Sister Sarah’ – well not at this point anyway.

Spaghetti Western soundtrack album is a particularly niche genre, even for this Contest, but someone had clearly had one too many sarsaparillas in the bars of Old Tallinn town, one night in … insert your month of choice … and decided this fusion was the way to go because Italian innit. At least that’s what I think the thought process was, and who better to get to sing it than perennial non-winner STEFAN? He of the capitalised name.

Having worked your way through Clint Eastwood’s back catalogue, you would then be treated to a Metrosexual Marlboro Man singing a song about ‘Hope’ – or at least that’s what I think he’s singing about because STEFAN’s diction is such that I still can’t make out most of the lyric after hearing it a dozen or so times – and this is going to be a problem for viewers. Especially those who have the power to pick up the phone and vote.

Just when you think that Clint himself is going to walk on stage for the middle eight, you get those two mules (mentioned earlier) appearing on stage in the shape of “the bad” and “the ugly” having a faux gunfight… well why the hell not, if you’ve already thrown the kitchen sink at the concept?

This song has an earworm quality to it that is really annoying, but that is probably because it’s so familiar.

Phil’s Score – 5 Points

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