Phil’s Eurovision Countdown 2023 – Part 19/37 – Israel

Remember how I said earlier in this review shenanigans that a song needs to give you either a positive or negative reaction at this contest? NO?! – Go back and read all of the countdowns ASAP.

This song makes me angry. KAN has spent, it is alleged, one MILLION Euros, and this is what they come up with? It’s a good job that they have, probably, got the receipts, so they can claim a refund. The first thing that annoys me is that it is called “Unicorn” and nowhere in the bloody preview video is there one damn unicorn. There is a Minotaur but that certainly is not a unicorn!

After another delegation has disappointed me with their lies – what is the song up to? Well again, because of my enforced hospitalisation, I have had to listen to this song again, just to remember how it went, which is not a good look when you are blaring Eurovision music wearing a theatre gown, let me tell you!

I seem to remember that it wasn’t much cop the first time round, and the second time just confirmed what I thought – namely that it’s shite. She, apparently, has the power of a unicorn, whatever the hell that is, and for the first two minutes the song is a girl power song that Smooth Hits or your national equivalent has. Noa stutters the word “Phenominal” at me for a bit, in an attempt to sound cool and edgy, and just when you think that it can’t get any blander, the song goes in a completely different direction.

It sounds messy and disjointed and perhaps that’s what they were going for, but it just seems to be a bit rubbish and ends up sounding like a school-yard chant in a game that kids play – you know like British Bulldog.

Not for me

Phil’s score – 3 Points