Eurovision 2018 Live Blog

eeerm - BWARK?

eeerm - what the actual fuck

here you go

no clue what the Juries have been doing on Friday but they are providing some sort of evening!!

Stay awake Europe! - Scores to comes

Very shortly.  Then there will be some business and we'll be into the juries.   

Finally, some results..  It's only taken two weeks to get this far!

Salvador singing on the stage,  

In the meantime - I'm still in the press centre digesting everything that has happened over the last 2 hours and 20 minutes of madness.  

With that, my lovelies, I'm going to leave you. The voting is the best bit of the night, and I’d struggle to keep up, so rather than spoil it for myself too, I'll let you find your own way to the end of things.

You'll be getting Salvador any minute, so I'm off to make a snack.

Who's going to win??

The invader is believed to have said "All the Nazis of the UK media, we demand freedom," according to music journalist Chris Lochery, reporting from Lisbon.

The intruder was dragged off stage by security after shouting "we demand freedom" and the singer clapped along until she was given a new microphone.

The European Broadcasting Union offered SuRie the chance to perform again but she has chosen not to.

It said in a statement: "The EBU regrets a stage invasion took place during the UK performance at the Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final in Lisbon this evening. The person responsible is currently in police custody.

UK host Graham Norton later announced SuRie had decided against performing her song for a second time, praising her and saying she had "nothing to prove" after her superb handling of the incident

Ermal Meta and Fabrizio Moro seem a bit cross. They're very shouty and the overlaid words distracted me. They flash up too quickly, and I found myself focussed on that rather than the song. It's one of those that you talk through, rather than listen to. Mr Fanning took the dog out for a wee - the dog I hope, not him.

Worthy, but over intense. Lower end of the list tonight, I think.

Fun fact, if it wasn't for John Frieda Frizz-Ease, I'd have hair like Ermal.

I never rated this, not even slightly until I saw it on Tuesday. It’s like the old days when Eurovision was fun. And God knows, this year things are a bit bleak, what with stage invasions and all.

Eleni is hardly doing much for the #metoo movement. It’s all tits and ass and big hair. And some really shockingly duff notes.

That said I see this as a reset button for the contest. It’s lost its way in parts this time out, and needs to remember it’s a Saturday night at the start of summer and we’re in the mood to party. Even if it is from the lowest common denominator school.

It's not that great a song though if I'm brutal. It's pretty much standard Eurovision fodder. Away from the semi final, it isn't quite as much of a standout.

Yeah, yeah fire.

The Irish must want to kiss the Chinese for drumming up interest in what is really a sub-par Emerald Isle Euro-ballad. I wager it squeezed through on Tuesday, and will do better tonight.

It;s easily a more assured performance than on Thursday, and Ryan really nails it. He oozed charisma, and the odd missed note didn't seem to matter one jot.

It is good to have the Irish in the final, and I can’t deny this is one of their stronger entries in recent years. No matter that they’ve chucked in a couple of the gays, some snow and a lovely girl. I’d love to see this tip Eurovision on its head, but I think Lithuania might nab the biggest ballad vote with their cutesy pie schlock.

Wouldn't it be like the old days to see the UK and Ireland in the running again? That might be the martinis speaking.

A good draw for the Dutch. Waylon knows how to perform and his vocals are on point throughout. Some have felt uneasy with the Krumping, but when I saw this on Thursday, it didn't strike me as quite the offensive car crash some of the reports from rehearsals would have me believe.

Maybe it's great camerawork, and maybe things have been toned down, but it works for me. I still don't like the song, but like Rybak, you get the impression this is a grow-up performance from someone who knows how to command the stage and camera. In a field of less accomplished performers, he has to be in with a shout.

Has been very quiet and stunned since the UK have been invaded but Netta wakes us all up. 

Don't ask for predictions cos I REALLY don't know now.  

Netta has picked up the most press coverage, and fans have flipped from loving it to finding fault. Our gang almost always turn on the favourite at the final, and this year is no exception. I'm never sure why. It's like we want the world not to get our contest. When the others place their bets, we want them to be wrong, as if only the fans can understand what wins.

It's a splitter of a song, I can't deny it.

The staging is way busy, but Netta knows what to do in front of a camera. The gurning works with the bright dress and make-up. She's a showgirl and the vocals are strong - even freestyling towards the end. You get the impression this is someone having fun. It has to be in the top ten, surely.

I'm really not going to be able to say much about this. It's unwatchable as the flashing lights hurt my eyes, it's screaming noise and I don't want to hear it. Others will feel differently. I can't even judge how it might perform. Next.

Benjamin Ingrosso excites me very little. The performance is cold, and staged to look like a pop video. Ingrosso comes across as smug with the head flicks and winks. A bit like Vic Reeves sending up Eurovision.

The audience connection is non existent, might as well be watching a video.

Could go either way. I’d like to see it flounder and encourage more effort into Melodifestivalen next year.

It's like Christer Bjorkmann decided to follow the darkest song with the lightest - and he's right to do that as things were in danger of flagging. It just so happens we're about to flip into party mode, and who better to do that than DoReDoS. It's madcap antics with a flat-pack wardrobe, a handy advert for Ikea new storage range. I still think it's crud, but it's very watchable crud. Not a repeat of last year's result, but it's going to do OK.

It’s staged like the sing-off in a talent show. Everyone doing their best to make sure they get noticed and pick up further work.

As a song, it lacks any true substance, and even though I’ve heard it umpteen times, it’s oddly failed to click with me and stick in my memory.

There's a long note at the end where the backing vocalist is clearly carrying things and it looks weird. Hoping that won't be in the reprise show reel.

Talking of which - after the upbeat fun of Australia and Finland and with Moldova up next, this is deservedly buried.

I predict Bulgaria’s first finish outside the top ten for a while. Symphonix feel to have peaked.

EBU offered the opportunity for SuRie to perform again, and the decision was left to SuRie, who has decided not to perform again. Well done lass.

Saara Aalto is another one who need a minute to set up her stage, and boy does she go for it. Less is most definitely not more.

Leather harnesses, military outfits and a big spinning wheel. Throw in a very shrill Saara Aalto and you’ve got ‘Monsters’. It’s a typical talent show OTT staging, that on this stage looks out of place. Someone probably should have a word with staging consultant Brian Friedman and tell him that even though it was a long time ago (and we don’t mention the war these days so much), Nazi imagery still isn’t OK.

Saara is in good voice, although it's all a bit one note. She even freestyles. I can't put my finger on what it is but the song feels to be missing something.

The ending reminds me of one of those awful middle-management trust exercises.

Brief tribute to Lys, Graham reminded us of Katie Boyle.

More green room interviews and Philomena is bloody excellent at this. It's a terrible job.

Here she comes, looking like she's the girl from accounts on a drunken office night out, the sort who grabs everyone and tells them they have to dance.

Jessica works the audience well and the vocals are a world apart from what she turned in on Thursday.

I'm told she's a lovely lady, and the lack of precision and bum notes actually help this song. It feels like she's having a laugh up there, which could be infectious and land the Aussies in their top ten home after all.

I ADORED THIS!

Rasmussen with their Viking romp looks and sounds ploddy. You can see everyone counting their steps as they go - and the vocals start out just a touch sharp. It's not the greatest song on offer, and could easily get buried between the Czech Republic and what's about to come from Australia.

'Ah now, come on walk with us'.

Everything feels a touch cold, and the snow effect makes little to no sense here on a May evening - even though I had to shut the window as I was perished.

Norton - "The song is called lie to me ... OK, I think you're going to win."

I've rarely seen the energy drain from a song as quickly as it did from this one after Mikolas Josef hurt his back in the first rehearsals. The revised staging isn't great (for me) and the whole thing now feels like it's lacking the spark to take it all the way.

I've never been a fan of the stylised vocal and feel sure Josef can do something better. He's another one I think we'll see again.

I'm sounding the 'favoutite Klaxon'. Madame Monsieur are leading the way with some bookmakers, and they've picked up a fair bit of press coverage for their song that highlights last year's migrant crisis. Grahame Norton summed up the story really well and talked the song up.

The vocals are a bucketload better than I ever expected after the French national final.

They work the crowd to great effect and the camera pulls back just right to fit all of that in. Such utter brilliant confidence.

It actually has a winner feel for the first time ... something I never dared think before given how much I enjoy their music.

EBU have confirmed that she will get another go at the end of all the songs

Eugent Bushpepa - he of the tattoos that upset Chinese telly - turns in easily the vocal tour de force tonight. The Estonian operatics pale by comparison. The song though is a bit folksy rock and not memorable enough to really threaten the top spot.

The camera work on this one left me feeling a bit seasick.

If Mick Hucknell and Sonia had a love child, it would be Michael Schulte. Some have compared him to Ed Sheeran, and it has that wailing boy with a piano and guitar feel, thumbing his way through the family album and bringing a tear to his mother's eye. In short, like Lithuania it's a song with a story, and that's always going to pick up some votes.

His accent is a tad  off putting for me.

Could go either way. People like Ed Sheeran, will they like this faded photocopy?

Sanja Ilić & Balkanika ladle out a huge cup of Balkania. It's like someone took a checklist and worked their way through - ethnic instruments, wailing vocals, cut to a thumping beat, a bit of formation dancing and a bloke with a beard.

Sanja is still playing hide and peep from behind the lasses on stage, and the camera angle is just too high to make it look like anything other than plain daft.

It's still a sound performance, and I'm glad there's a bit of this in the contest at the end of the day.

But all that's on my mind is SuRie.

Everyone is in shock and SuRie got a massive cheer. The poor girl was shaking like a leaf as would anyone who had the microphone ripped from their hands by invaders. Surely we need the song again, but we've cut to Serbia ... for now

SuRie knows how to work the audience, and also how to connect with the camera.

And then the stage was invaded, Surie recovered but was visibly shaking!

What now???

A short break - apparently while they set the stage for SuRie, her lighting tube tunnel takes a bit of lugging.

Cláudia Pascoal and songwriter Isaura come across like a pair of music students doing an end of term showcase. The vocals come from the school of warble, so it's hard to say if she's flat or conveying emotion. It's something about looking after her dead nan's garden - something that would never happen in the UK, as the council would most likely flog the house off to pay her care bill.

Nice enough, but it's a return to the old days for Portugal, and I expect it to grace the lower end of the scoreboard.

And here's one of the early favourites - though oddly enough not so much with fans of the contest! And he's drifted big time in the betting today.

Rybak with a slice of over manufactured pap called 'that's how you write a song'. Can't deny he knows what he's doing, the vocals are sound and the overlaid effects strong, but it runs out of steam pretty quickly and resorts to repeating what went before. I don't see it doing as well as some think.

Norton hit the nail on its head when he said ironically the song isn't very good, but he oozes charisma. Although he sounded weaker than on Thursday like he's a bit tired.

I'm also pretty sure this isn't the last we'll see of him on the Eurovision stage.

Home of Italian Opera, of course. There was a bit of fuss about how Elina Nechayeva might not get to showcase her special effects dress  ahead of the contest, though few believed her mega-rich husband wouldn't make it happen.

She's a tiny bit dead behind the eyes, like it's been an awfully long two weeks - join the club, love. And the song is no great shakes. I'm sure it's going to get a few votes, and probably do a touch better than it likely did on Tuesday, as this feels like the kind of song Saturday night talent show viewers would pick - certainly if this was one of those X Factor shows in the UK, everyone would be raving about it.

Not keen, but it's a top ten finish.

Hands up, I don't get the appeal one little bit. It sounds like a bargain store version of Rag and Bone Man, and the song itself feels so contrived. Cesár Sampson is all over the place, looking dwarfed by a rising rig and then walking awkwardly around with the camera struggling to keep up.

All the parts of a good song are here, but they fit badly. A bit like his trousers.

I'd be surprised if this wasn't pushed into the final by a jury vote rather than the public, and that will be its undoing tonight. That said, Mr Fanning loves it, so I've sent him to make me another drink.

It opens with a fabulous shot of the audience holding up the phones to create a modern version of cigarette lighters, and from then on in, it's staged to perfection.

This is the first 'song with a story' of the night. Ieva's delegation have worked wonders with this, overlaying a few glimpses of kids and older people.

I much prefer this in the studio version, live Ieva really overdoes the emoting, sounding like she's sucking a peardrop as she rolls about on a filthy floor - that pink nightie will be ruined. I hope it's machine wash.

And then up and over the climbing frame bridge to meet someone we're told is her actual hubby, where she gets all wobbly and tearful.

This has to be in the running. Mr Norton sang its praises.