I'm also sat on a table with people that quite like this song so these words are hard for me to write ... nah

There are TWENTY-TWO seconds at the start of the song where she programmes her box of tricks, and Europe are not going to understand that. There are plenty of camera shots that are wrong and lots of wide shots. The red and gold staging looks visually arresting (and not in a good way) and they have what can only be described as waving pussies on stage.

The stage is also very busy for the first 90 seconds. It's all about her ... and smoke ... and the dancers, and by the time she comes from behind the box of tricks, she finally connects with the audience. Netta is another one performing to the 'crowd' and not the cameras, so some of the shots look off.

There is a metric fuck-tonne of work that needs to be done on this in order to get it anywhere near the favourite that people think it is. To me, though, it confirms all my suspicions about it - it's a chicken in wolf's clothing.

Image Credits: Andres Putting.


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