It's time for 'Fanning's Folly II - This time it's personal' - and another one of those fancy little live blogs that OnEuropean visitors seem to have taken to their fabulous hearts this year. Tonight, I'll be relaxing on my chaise longue, laptop in hand ready to give out about the second semi-final - which promises to be an even more confusing affair than the one we enjoyed together just two nights ago.
Join me at 8pm (UK) or 9pm (CET) and share your views. And if you're here early, share your predictions in the comments box below.
Quick promotional message, I'm doing the Grand Final on Saturday too. Please join me.
Mr Fanning is giving out over how he equaled my 8/10 from Tuesday. Nobody likes a show off. It's time to sign off - I'll be back on Saturday night.
It's the press conference now for the qualifiers and then the producers have a huddle around the running order with an announcement expected later tonight (or possibly early tomorrow). We'll bring you our 'Eurovision for Dummies' table tomorrow morning.
I'm still here, just eating a doughnut, so here 's the list ...
Serbia, Moldova, Hungary, Ukraine, Sweden, Australia, Norway, Denmark, Slovenia and ... Netherlands.
I'm clueless, so have decided to put it in the hands of Mr Fanning, and here are his choices ...
Norway, Denmark, Moldova, Georgia, Netherlands, Australia, Malta, Sweden, Slovenia, Ukraine
He’s been promoting his perfume in Lisbon, it’s called black gas – and that sounds about as appealing as this am-dram rickety show. He’s cleverly hidden vocal weaknesses although the staging looks to have taken a huge gulp of that ‘how to stage Eurovision’ skit from the Swedish hosts a few years back.
The song itself – let’s not forget this is a song contest – isn’t that bad ... sort of Coldplay lite. On an evening of truly terrible performances, it should get through, if only somebody could have held back.
I don’t get it. I don’t like it. But I see how others might. At least I did until they do this weird stunt where they pretend it’s all gone tits up[ in the tech box. On stage jokes never work, Lea, never. And you could have lost some jury points along with televotes and denied your place in the final – certainly the odds back this up with some places offering 500/1 on it for an overall win today.
In blue bubble wrap and without managing to look at the camera for most of the song, it’s like Vanja knows this dated plate of tripe isn’t getting a second serving.
Benji really did need to look at how big his bum looks in that short pleather jacket. Skinny jeans can do that if you’re that way endowed. The tagging lends it an air of not being in the same hall, as if the Swedes have sent a music video, and it’s only thanks to a wider shot that we realise it’s not the case. Mr Fanning remarked that it felt a bit weak for Sweden (he called it a bad Micheal Jackson pub tribute act) and I’m inclined to agree. But it’s through – of course it is – and let’s see the headache it hands Dame Bjorkman if it draws the first half of the contest.
On the 9th of May, Chinese broadcaster Mango TV broadcast the first Semi-Final of the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest live but two performances were censored. This is not in line with the EBU's values of universality and inclusivity and our proud tradition of celebrating diversity through music. It is with regret that we will therefore immediately be terminating our partnership with the broadcaster and they will not be permitted to broadcast the second Semi-Final or the Grand Final.
This is a second sucessive contest low point for me. In many ways it’s worse than the crud from San Marino or that noise from Hungary, as it takes itself so seriously. And she looks like she could eat a King Size Kit Kat sideways on with that mouth. It's very red. Laura's vocals went really off towards the end.
Not my thing at all, way too much flashing strobe on screen to watch. A train wreck. I struggle to understand the late attraction this has enjoyed after being written off all season – has everyone tired of simple pop and needs the polar opposite. I can’t see viewers feeling the same. Those who like this sort of music assure me it’s a fairly average lightweight example, so even its fans struggle to like it.
Based on tonight, you really couldn't be a Eurovision fan if you're a photo sensitive epileptic.
Bag of shite.