Liveblog: Eurovision 2009 – First semi-final dress rehearsal

We’ll be updating here every few minutes or so – well I will be – they will be poking me!! Read from the bottom up – it’s just how the technology rolls!

2120 – That’s all the songs done – And now they do the reprise!! – shockingly. It’s a 15 min voting window but they didn’t tell anyone about the 15 min window!! – Oh Dear!! and interestingly they are giving them a 20 second first viewing….

2116 – Bosnia and Herzegovina. This gets a cheer before it even starts – which means that 3 minutes of disappointment can only follow!! – Seriously though, this is qualifying without even having to try. THIS IS QUALIFYING.

2112 – Malta – Another singer that is uncomfy with the first few notes of her song. Ooooh dear Chiara. And then she misses the first of the high notes as well…. This doesn’t bode well at the moment. Unfortunately it just doesn’t get better. She is missing too many notes for this to get through and there is a severe danger that unless she nails those notes tomorrow she will NOT get through on her name and the rest of the song. THIS MAY NOT BE QUALIFYING.

2108 – Portugal. Pedro from Portugal doesn’t like it – but what does he know!! – There is just something about this that makes me want to see it qualifying…. It could be the fact that Fleur is nice, it could be the fact that it makes the crowd clap, with a bit of luck. THIS IS QUALIFYING.

2107 – Presenter Break – again!!

2103 – Finland. Old Man Mills’ last words to me this evening were “see how bad Finland is” – As I have said all along – it’s a record song. They sound all over the place just like they did in the Finnish Final and it looks silly. THIS IS NOT QUALIFYING.

2059 – Romania. Those Bolton girls like to party apparently, but there is enough to dislike about this song for me to be unsure about it. It has all the right elements though to get the randy old men to televote for it – but the song is eminently hate-able. THIS MIGHT be qualifying.

2057 – FYR Macedonia. This is just the right side of Bon Jovi and just the wrong side of 80’s to have broad appeal to get the voting but what is the likelihood of them picking up 65 points – it’s by far their best go in years but – not so sure. THIS MIGHT be qualifying.

2051 – Iceland. She might just stand a chance now you know. She may have that horrific blue dress on, but it has such an impact straight after Bulgaria that Europe must surely have a chance of picking this to go through. Johanna also has a good voice of course and does just enough emoting to get this through. THIS IS QUALIFYING.

2048 – Bulgaria. Again, all shades of wrong. Krassimir now has a red cape on (clearly in for the boys) – This is a cert for coming plumb last in the semi voting. Nothing can save this from coming at the bottom. It just looks so silly and, well….. NEXT (and down to one stilt walker)

2045 – Presenter Break. Please don’t bother!!

2042 – Israel. I love this song. But the first few notes without music worry me. And they worried Noa as well as she missed the ones immediately afterwards. However, this song pulls the right strings in order to get the votes coming in and their voices gel together. It stands up on its own merit and THIS IS qualifying.

2038 – Turkey. This should be walking straight thought into the final. Hadise dressed in Red is nailing the performance. I can not see 10 other songs beating this – Unless Europe has been having the Belorussian Mind Altering Chocolates! THIS IS Qualifying!

2035 – Switzerland. This has lost all impact. He is playing the crowd and is not playing to the audience. Which has just lost this song its chance of qualifying. And that is a shame because now it just does look like a pub band. This is NOT qualifying on this performance.

2031 – Andorra. This is perfectly pleasant, but nice doesn’t win or qualify. However, we are running out of songs that should get through on their merits so their is a chance that this is going through – but it is a VERY VERY outside chance…

2029 – Commercial Break! – It’s like a BBC blog this πŸ˜‰

2026 – Armenia. This is lots better than the hideousness that has gone before. Surely the televoters will choose this over Sweden. Its staged on the suede podium and the girls have not yet hit a bum note. Which is exactly what this song is all about. The dancing doesn’t look stupid, which is also good. It has the bhangra back beat which is popular at the moment and the first use of green lasers!! – This is DEFINITELY qualifying!

2022 – Sweden. It looks all wrong. The dress doesn’t match with the background – which are both white and there is lots of soft focus on the camera – this could be to hide her facial work, but who knows. There does seem to be a lot of make up on her though – and if’s she’s 42 then Roy is 23!!. Vocally it is nailed on, but it is just too white…. Someone needs to tell them that only the Juries can save this – cos no one in their right mind will televote for this!! This is NOT for the Qualifying.

2018 – Belarus. It’s boil in the bag man and 80’s guitar time!!. Petr’s promotion machine and chocolates have clearly affected me because he actually sounds very good and doesn’t look half bad!! The camera shots are brilliant – the long shots of the hall make the song stand out after the 3 bags of toss before it – I still don’t understand boil in the bag man though!!- This is on the maybe list for qualifying IF Europe like rock.

2015 – Belgium – Cant sing any of the first verse at all – sounds like his cold has affected him more than we know. He had to adjust his headset mic. Stage looks good though. Not even a resus machine is going to help this one – It has all gone hideously wrong because of his voice…. I don’t even think he is in the same key. NOT to the qualifying.

2011 – Czech Republic. This just lacks enough madness in order to qualify. I understand that this is what he does in real life – only more so. It’s not picking up votes. Or indeed singing any of his notes in the right order!!! NOT to the qualifying

2007 – Intro to Montenegro – we might be in danger of starting!! πŸ˜‰ – and unfortunately we were. She’s still singing into a wind machine. Backing singers are in the wings possibly singing the song. This is all shades of wrong I am afraid. Andrea sounds off key to me and the dancing is very 1970’s. NOT to the qualifying.

2005 – It appears that the hosts have no clue as to what is going on – and the female performer looks scared shiteless!!!

2004MST – Hosts appear… on a very purple set – Crowd looks quite full this evening for a rehearsal it has to be said!

2001MST – Well we’ve started – the beginning of the contest is very special… possibly in a special needs kind of way. It’s all about flowers and things… They tell you a story!!!