Romania
You know that phrase about the kitchen sink. Well I think Romania have got one of them as well, although it was difficult to tell behind the huge heaps of oil drums. They’ve got fire, they’ve got angle grinders, and unless there’s an ad break either side of this ‘un the stagehands are going to have a nightmare with the changeover. Having said all that, it does come over quite brill, and although the metal bashing might be more Stomp than Test Department, its industrial edge gives it a nice gran frightening edge.
Hungary
Strangely subdued after the last lot, but still loads of nonny nonny leaping about and fancy head flicking. The song’s still ace, in a medieval madrigal disco kind of way, and the dancing’s top, but it might be just a bit tricksy to go the whole way. Mind you, last time I said that was for Marie N, so what do I know?
Finland
Better than expected, but then I didn’t expect much. The backing choir gives it a nice boost, even if there is a funny little chap human beat boxing through it, but there’s still not enough substance to the song to drag it into the top ten. Won’t be horribly last, but they’ll be watching from the hotel in Saturday I fancy.
Macedonia
It appears I’m the only one here whole quite likes this song. Doesn’t mean I think it’ll qualify though. He’s a big ambling lunk of a man, with all the grace of a punchy heavyweight, and the backing singers do their usual FYROM trick of standing about lost, but the tune itself grooves along pleasantly. More doomed than a cake round our Phil, though.
Andorra
Oh dear. Hurtles along in that Lion King on Red Bull kinda way – and then they get the feathery fans out and it all gets very silly. Same camp dancers from last year, by all accounts. Same place, same time next year, then.
Switzerland
Time to stick my neck out and suggest this one might not make it out of qualifying. It’s a perfectly good song, albeit with a badly stapled together lyric, and they perform it all right, but it’s just lacking that little bit of magic that could make it into a contender at this point. Room for improvement. Reet lookers, mind.
Croatia
I’m liking this. A lovely Balkan swing along chorus, a brooding but humble looking singer and a nice arrangement – the only thing that spoils it is the ludicrous hand standing drum gimp. Should be seeing this Saturday though.
Bulgaria
How many words are there for dull. Worst. Song. Ever.
Ireland
Now when have you ever heard me have a good word to say about an Irish entry? And this year should be the same. Geeky singers, a stilted routine and a hackneyed Riverdance bit in the middle. But somehow the sum of these parts have cobbled together to make a fantastic gurt hound of a song. This is what entertainment is all about! With spuds on. Poor little Joe might dance like your nephew at a wedding after too many panda pops, and the song may sound like a cut and paste of every Yugopop entry from the 80s, but its energy, sweetness and dumb innocent charm have somehow alchemised to make this the most likable and enjoyable tune of the day. We laughed all the way though, and they may not know quite how funny they are, but they’re going to pick up votes like a fat old lard sponge. Winning ain’t even out of the question. And good heavens, I never thought I’d ever say that about the Irish!