Mid-August worries me. It seems like a time of year when birthdays are a bit thing on the ground. What are the options? Find some obscure backing singer who may have sung on a demo track? Or go random? I'm sure you can guess which option I've gone for.

Today's random is written by our favourite song-writing team. No, Nella Martinetti and Atilla Şereftuğ. I mean our old friends Messrs Siegel and Meinunger. They've written the odd song over the years, and today's is a nicely odd song. The odd sort of song that gets played at every Eurovision disco that's any good. The odd sort of song that even the younger fans will still love. Yes, it's a song about our favourite medieval butcher of millions. Can you guess who it is?