Wondering around Moscow on the way to the My My last night we came across a man with half a face. It was a deeply disturbing image after only recently seeing two young men on the tube with their heads caved in. They don’t have quite the same approach to disfigurement in Russia. In fact they don’ t quite have the same approach to anything.
Much in evidence whilst the VE Day rehearsals were going on were soldiers in their droves. You couldn’t quite imagine say the paras walking the streets during the ceremony at the Cenotaph. When you get up close to them, you realise that they are in fact only boys, some of them barely out of nappies. You have to wonder how they’d cope in a war situation and you know with the country who’s uniform they wear that sooner rather than later they are going to be put to that test. Just occasionally you catch their eye and see a momentary flicker of fear.
And on to the evenings festivities courtesy of Belarus. Best to arrive fashionably early at these things and nab the Belarussian CD’s and huge boxes of chocolates on offer adorned with Petr’s face. As well as many assorted choccies are huge liqueurs. Far bigger then their western counterparts and containing an entire measure of spirits. They also abandon the limited free beer tokens for each evening policy and just decide we can have as much as we like, something I’m clearly going to regret on the way home when I have an accident with the stairs…er hum… There is however a smaller VIP area that very few are allowed in with a free buffet. This is only for the likes of the Armenian girls and Philip Kirkirov. Big Phil (and he’s huge!) turns up with increasingly regularity at Eurovision. He indeed wrote last years Ukrainian entry for Ani Lorak which finished second and Angelica Agerbash’s abortive one million euro travesty from 2005. Morever he presented Russia himself back in 1995 dressed like Mark Bolan and wearing far too much makeup. He finished well down the pack. You may never have heard of him but he’s sold 100’s of millions of records. These days he’s as freaky looking as Michael Jackson. His “wife” Alla Pugacheva (who herself represented Russia in 1997) is officially listed as one of the five biggest selling artists on the planet along with the Beatles, Abba and Elvis. This all adds just another twist of surreality to the proceedings. Belarussian and Russian artists from the past then serenade us on the huge stage and one or two of the brave from this year join them along with a little known Junior Eurovision winner from Belarus. The kiddie fest has only been going 6 years and Belarus have managed to win it twice. This particular youngster ended top after some of the most suspicious voting I’ve ever seen in a Eurovision…..
To add to my celebrity spots I manage to nab the Lithuanian singer. This may turn out to be an achievement as they are considering withdrawing having lodged an official complaint claiming that the Russians have sabotaged the staging of their song. Much as I like the song, I really don’t think any backdrop is gonna save it from the drop. Even more impressive I managed to get snapped with Alexander from Norway no less than 3 times. He is a major scalp as the hot favourite for the title. I’m surprised that he’s made himself so accessible as I was expecting him to be surrounded by body guards and not speak to anyone. He is refreshingly down to earth for someone carrying the burden of western hopes in this year’s contest on his shoulders. The same cannot be said for Slutlana…. sorry Svetlana Laboda from Ukraine who clearly wants nothing to do with anyone and considers herself above the gathered press. I sense a fall to earth coming her way on Saturday May 16th……Not a nice lady and even the few straight men around Moscow this week would give her a wide berth just in case she gave them more than swine flu….
And the the piece de resistance for those still sober…. Yet more Belarussian ice creams with Petr gracing their wrappers. And when you think you’re all sugared out they go and wheel out a huge cake which turns out to be yet more ice cream in disguise. You have to wonder whether they have hired an army of people back in Belarus to spend all day milking cows just to keep up with the production demands of their delegation. After this we decide to retire from the proceedings with what dignity I have left.
And so to today dear readers. I decide to have a late start and let my three compatriots carry the mornings rehearsals whilst I stroll in. On the way I see an Alasation sitting in the corridor of the metro with a bucket in it’s mouth begging for money. It is unaccompanied. I no longer think that this is strange so I have clearly been in the land of Eurovisionia too long. The escalators travel far too slowly so I drag my ample carcass down it more quickly.
I suddenly felt a yearning for some western food. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the soups, meat doughnuts and meat of indeterminate origin that I’ve been feasting on since my arrival. I just have a mellow western moment and decide to try out the local Ronaldski McDonaldski. People serve you in pairs, one holding a flag to signify that they are free to serve you and take your money whilst the other actually goes away and gets your food. The whole experience is helped a great deal by having a picture menu to display to confused foreigners. I point and they go “ah mcnuggets, cola, fries”. I also have a McFlurry in case I get ice cream withdrawal symptons and miss my sugar high. They make a real effort and even try a couple of words of English on me. You can’t imagine their counterparts in the UK bothering like this. They just don’t have the same customer service ethic. With these Russians, you sense that they really mean it and it’s not just for me because I’m not of their land. Since there are no seats left I sit on the wall. A half starved pigeon makes overtures towards me in the hope of getting a morsel. Everythime I shoo it away, it edges back gradually pleading. I’m a hard man 🙂
After our brief flirtation with rain yesterday, the sun is back in full force today and it’s baking once again.
I’m loving it 🙂