A couple of things Cyprus should have done

Or not done, really. It looks a fair bit better than it did first time round. I think colour came in at the start of the 1st chorus before, now it hangs back for the start of verse 2. The explosions of misery in the bridge look far less jolly. The road that once was paved with gold (which isn’t gold and isn’t a road) has turned a rusty shade of all the saddest colours in the world (specifically, blue). Could have been more literal. Never mind.

The tinkly instrument when it all goes quiet and spine-tingling still sounds like the ice-cream van’s just drawn up outside, and I certainly wouldn’t mind a Mivvi – it’s a warm day here in Vienna – but you can’t have everything.

It’s got enough about it for a reasonably smooth qualification, I think. After that – depends what mood Europe’s in. It’s another relationship breakdown in what’s turning into a year of relationship breakdowns, but I suppose at least this time the One Thing He Should Have Done is the relatively minor sin of not turning up. He’s still young, there are a lot of freshly single women around this semifinal and I imagine he should be able to catch one of them on the rebound.

So yeah, qualifying.