It’s time for the UK… What will it be like…?
They’re more than 15 minutes late. It’s not clear whether this is because we’re running late or whether there’s a big set-up to happen.
Oh: there’s a big set up. We have two staircases on stage (the kind Jade Ewan got chinned by a violinist on) which Bianca and Alex enter down with 4 backing singers/dancers. She’s in pink, he’s in a trimmed suit. She also has some unsightly package strapped across her back. What are they? They look like battery packs for microphones but there’s too many of them. It’s not immediately apparent what they do, although she does have some neon effect woven into her dress. Surely not for that though? She could have created the same look with some glow sticks and some Selloptape. I’m left with only one conclusion: suicide bomber chic. I kid you not – we think they might be some kind of sartorial pyrotechnics. Blimey! It looks ridiculous at the moment.
The routine is better than it has been, and the chemistry is improved but yet at the moment it feels like this could do even worse than we feared. There’s something lacking here – possibly a song, but certainly performance ability. This really is a car crash. A great big car crashing smack into a dog’s dinner.
Already the questions are buzzing around the press centre: who the fupp is going to touch this gig now for the Royaume Uni?