Phil: Austria – Making a mess
**MESS** **MESS** **MESS**
See, ORF Circa 1982 knew what to do here…. The brief from ORF 2015 is clearly
“Dear Makemakes,
We’ve saved up for 48 years to give the “Press” Free shit…. we need another 48 years to pay for it….
Don’t Win, but don’t embarrase us
Yours – ORF”
To that end, then, they’ve done that to a tee. This isn’t winning either but, like Italy but in a different way, It’s so slow and turgid and has no spark at all that when this get sung fourteenth on Saturday night Europe, just having come back from a bog break, will see lots of long haired hippies trying to sing something akin to a Faux John Lennon song and will go ” Lets get back to the toilet, it’s more exciting”.
It’s an almost static performance by this lot and whilst they will probably set the piano on fire like they did in the Austrian Final, They’ll need to do a darn sight more than that to get the Televoters of Europe excited about this song. The Juries, however, might well love it a little bit, but not much.
It’s just too static and not exciting enough for a Television show. It’s an earnest performance of a radio song or an album track…
Nick: Austria’s design brief: finish 8th.
I’m kind of liking this. The Makemakes have the quiet competency of an act that know what they can do, who have confidence that their song is just on the right side of the fine line between “familiar” and “derivative”, who KNOW that they’re not going to score zero in the final. Which is probably as much as ÖRF are asking of them, bearing in mind Austria’s standard issue results. This was not the year to be Trackshittaz.
The trouble with trying to come 8th is that, you know, the one thing you can absolutely guarantee is that you won’t come 8th. There’s a lovely overhead shot on the oohhoooohhhhooohhhh break near the end which looks pretty.
Actually, on third run, I’m slightly losing confidence that these vocals are secure – not a good worry when you’re jury bait. Still, 1st rehearsal, 10:47 on a Sunday morning, it’s not going to be A-game at this point. Not worried yet.
Oh, they do that thing at the end where the piano catches fire. I suppose *something* has to. I hope Health and Safety standards in the workplace have been properly adhered to.
Rosé: They can’t all be belters…
The Makemakes up now for Austria and I’m struggling for positive adjectives for this. In fact I’m struggling full stop for this. In a weird kind of way the lead is quite pretty despite doing everything he can to cover it up. The voice is a little Curtis Steigers whom I never particularly liked but he’s a competent vocalist. This song sounds like every piano ballad my mother listened to when I was a young lad in the 70s. Are we sure we can’t find some plagiarism claim from somewhere, someone, anyone….??
The staging is pretty bland but it’s a bland kind of song. No flaming piano just a flame effect in the floor as we get a swirly overhead shot. Is the flame effect there to remind us this is three minutes of HELL?
It’s all very lazy and plodding and I can only see a smattering of votes from neighbours Germany and Switzerland and a twentieth placing for the host nation. In an attempt to make this a little more interesting, did you know they opened for Bon Jovi here in Vienna in 2013? No, thought not. Care much? Didn’t think so.
Postscript.. On the last run through the piano goes up in flames and there’s a red pyro wall.. It’s lifting it from dreary as all hell to just dreary..
Monty: Austria on the makemake
It’s an early start and I’m a bit grumpy from too little sleep, and The Makemakes aren’t makemaking it any easier for me. It’s almost exactly the same as the performance from the Austrian final, save for – at this stage at least – the burning piano. The only change is that the drummer and guitarist have swapped sides and the boys are in slightly better duds, but that ridiculous wide-brimmed hat is still there. Competent, and effective if you like this kind of thing. Which I don’t. Can you tell?
Update: the piano is on fire! Like, REALLY on fire! I’m not sure the pyros were meant to be quite so effective in the last run through…