Yes, myself and our good chum John Stanton from Eurovision Ireland will be guiding you through this afternoons shenanigans…. I bet you can’t wait!!!
14.52.17 – oneurope
Well we are sat in our seats and Cant wait to start at 1500 Sharp… ish 😉
John and I will guide you through the shenanigans!
15.01.52 – oneurope
And so it begins, right on time with an orchestra and Conchita….. This is going to be a good one… Real people in the hall and everything!!!
15.02.46 – oneurope
Conchita is surprise number one… She’s there for a rehearsal…. well done girl 😉
15.03.11 – John Stanton
Apparently Austria won the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest, which is why a certain Conchita opens the show with a full orchestral version of some song she won with. In Messianic white too.
15.06.27 – oneurope
They start the semi with a parade of nations just like the final as well.. Let me tell you the hall is quite full as well but the sound has cut off in the press centre…. they are manfully carrying on on stage let me tell you
15.06.36 – John Stanton
The customary march of all the nations. If it’s anything like the red carpet thingummy last night, we could be several hours before some Moldovan gyrating police people hone into view.
15.10.58 – John Stanton
Conchita has nice shoes we’re told.
15.12.31 – oneurope
It’s all gone wrong on stage but the hosts can cope with it…. “Conchita will be in the green room looking after these 16 artists that should still be here”
I like these people.
15.14.21 – John Stanton
They like racing tractors in Moldova. Unlikely to make very good getaway vehicles though.
15.14.22 – oneurope
Into song number one… Moldova… As we know the postcards are gifts. Eduards is a starting handle for a tractor…. Tractor race ensues as does hilarity.
15.17.04 – oneurope
Moldova…. Well it is what it is. A decent uptempo song with dubious backing singers but Eduard is trying his best to polish this. It looks better than it has done all week, which something but despite the first time that this has been seen by 10000 people they like it when his shirt is ripped off! – always a crowd pleasing moment. Real people seem to like this as well… Have I miss judged this??
15.17.52 – John Stanton
Dear Tele-Radio Moldova. George Michael wants his leather-clad policemen back.
15.18.28 – oneurope
Armenia next…. A Trip to Prater round by OnEurope/Eurovision Ireland towers for these lot….
15.18.32 – John Stanton
Armenian postcard – what’s in the box? A ticket to a nice wholesome theme park.
15.21.06 – oneurope
I am just not feeling this song, It comes across very disjointedly for the first 76 seconds which is a bad thing, and *then* it builds but just not from the start. The Purple background comes across well on the screens and they can all sing but it’s just all a bit formulaic for me.
That’s not to say that it won’t get loads of votes tonight… provided the camera man doesn’t trip like he has just done!!! – They are off centre in the vortex of time shot as well… It looks messy.
15.22.15 – John Stanton
Armenia on, and some of the camera work seems to be going distinctly awry. Some of the singers to be off their marks. And there’s a flag of Nagorno-Karabakh in the audience. That’ll go down well if it’s there tomorrow night.
15.22.39 – oneurope
Loic for Belgium next gets a delivery of….. a cassette tape and then, In Austria, He’s mincing about doing a street performance with a Ghetto blaster.
15.22.54 – John Stanton
Belgians and top hats. Always a connection I like to make. A bit like tennis and rabbits.
15.25.14 – oneurope
If they say that the eyes don’t lie, then Loic’s are saying “HELP” – completely terrified for the first few seconds of this song. It’s still trying to be electro pop but the spinning does down well in the hall. Even though the stark contrast between him and the backing singers is all about the art, but it’s just too harsh for me. Loic also seems to be a touch shouty when he gets into the meat and two veg of the song to be honest, It all seems to be trying too hard and not in a good way.
Should still qualify but barely.
15.25.28 – John Stanton
Plucky little Loïc has a black suit over a white shirt with red pinstripes. Could almost be a posh version of the Liverpool change strip from the 1980s. He seems to be messing with his face. I fear for this – it seems a little too busy and oddball.
15.26.34 – oneurope
Netherlands on 4th and Dutch post gives Trintitje… a Compass….. For her hot air balloon ride in Austria…. Cos thats a connection I always make!
15.29.34 – oneurope
Netherlands, The, Starts with a close up shot on her veil for longer than is strictly necessary, and she whips it off and it appears the cut dress has well and truly gone in favour of plain black (for now) – It still sounds like 3 minutes of wailing to me and does not inspire me to pick the phone up and vote. Once the movement has started its minimal at best but adds nothing to the song. I think she’s a gonner.
15.30.04 – John Stanton
Tjrjijnjtjej gets a balloon ride that’s got a nice ladybird pattern on it. Maybe she should have adopted a matching pattern on her outfit. No, not the slashed one, but another one that has parachute pants in the MC Hammer stylee. I suspect the voters won’t want to touch this. Or else they’re going to walk along.
15.31.10 – oneurope
Finns next, They get…. A hat, and the Austrians take them on the public transport system as a present for being here…
15.32.50 – John Stanton
Finns like trams. Unlike some of my friends back home. We get wobbly camera angles that seem to work. Not as shaky as our heroes Winny Puhh but moving around a little nonetheless. It does what it does and I can’t figure out whether this will qualify or not.
15.33.25 – oneurope
I fear that they appear to have toned this down have the Finns and this now looks like everything it shouldn’t be. It seems to have lost some of its punk edge and it does suddenly hit all of the stereotype buttons it was trying to avoid. This is going absolutely nowhere.
15.35.22 – John Stanton
First ad break of the night which might effect the Greek chances. Conchita is demonstrating her interviewing, er, prowess by talking at to the tongue-tied Loïc from Belgium.
15.35.34 – oneurope
Interview with Conchita with Loic…. His voice hasn’t broken and Conchita is doing well with the green room. but runs out of time….. it’ll be FINE.
15.36.44 – oneurope
Greece next after an Ad Break and they get…… a hammer, how appropriate! – In Austria she gets to do some DIY on the economy and makes a boat… apt for when she gets to sail home?
15.39.01 – John Stanton
The Greek box has a hammer in it. Reminds me of a game I was playing last night at the Euroclub… What could possibly go wrong coming after an ad break, especially if you’re not quite a safe bet for the final. Do viewers like dramatic ballad by numbers? In French? Definitely. In English? I’m not so sure.
15.39.36 – oneurope
Can I take her out of this firey hell… I hope so!! – This song is turgid and a bit slow and rubbish, a bit like the Drachma used to be. Maria Elena Sunday is trying her best here but she has a dog of a song and with it being placed after the first add break could well spell the death knell for this song. She thinks she’s Mariah Carey, she could be the Pariah for NERIT at this contest at this rate. Even a wind machine doesn’t help it…. Greece are on the bubble and I am suspecting the wrong side of it.
15.40.33 – oneurope
EESTI!! Will Riigi get all moist over this one, I think there is every chance. A Skateboarding theme for Elin Bored and Stig Rastermouse…
15.40.47 – John Stanton
Tallinn, a fine fine city, and Elina and Stig get some protective outer wear to go skateboarding. In the rain by all accounts.
15.43.42 – John Stanton
Tension aplenty between Stig and Elina. It’s brilliant. drama, intrigue, perfect staging. If this doesn’t get through to the final, I’m jacking this lark in and taking up skateboarding.
15.43.59 – oneurope
This…Is… Class…
Elin gives him such a look of disdain in this song and she is really pained and believes in every work and Stig is just such a cool dude and leaves her on stage all alone. It really really is perfect and for the first time in about 5 years I actually have goosebumps. That is all kinds of great and is Tallinn nice in May?
15.44.46 – oneurope
Macedonia get to go to Kitzbuhel for some skiing.. I suspect Daniel hasn’t skied for a long time, especially on the Hahnenkarm!
15.44.53 – John Stanton
What could be better for Daniel Kajmakoski and his Macedonian chums than some ski-ing? Après-ski is more my style but there you go.
15.47.59 – oneurope
Macedonia (FYR) are next. It’s another decidely average song and Daniel is trying his hardest to get this song into the final but it’s all about him… It just ends badly as well…. A kid on screen covered his ears…. a motto for us all here.
15.48.08 – John Stanton
The backdrop doesn’t not appear to have changed, despite our assurances that it might do. R&B does seem to work hereabouts so Daniel and his chums seem to know what they’re singing about. Oh wait, the leaves are not falling in the stage show, but blowing around a little.
15.48.57 – oneurope
Serbia next, at a Tent manufacturers… sorry Dress Makers…. always get the two confused!
15.49.30 – John Stanton
Bojana is making her own dress. Or something involving a large amount of printed fabric anyway.
15.51.52 – John Stanton
Do you want to groove? I said, do you want to groove? No? Well here’s some funky dancing moves from Serbia’s Bojana and her dancers anyway, even if they are as fey as fey can be.The flags that are definitely sticking out from her are not rainbow flags, but pastel shades. But surely for a song like this they need to be big bold and brash. Is it qualifying? Borderline.
15.53.03 – oneurope
Boogie gets, in a weird turn of events, to go to the Fireservice in her blog.
15.54.11 – John Stanton
Lovely little Boggie is in a nice plum-coloured dress. I wish the press centre could just shut up and give her a chance.
15.56.13 – oneurope
I am pre disposed to like this song. She never puts a note wrong, unlike some today, It’s understated and the message gets across… but I dont think the message is getting across to the real world and the public and juries at large and that is a shame. This *could* be eveyone’s 11th favourite which worries me. Great hall reaction though, less so in the press centre.
15.56.28 – John Stanton
I love the effective staging of this. Even the guns turning into a lovely big tree seem to fit. It’s almost a Milk & Honey (featuring Gali Atari) staging, and we know what happened to them.
16.00.31 – oneurope
I like Belarus…. I have it deep inside…
Also helps that Uzari is not unattractive. I said to their PR Lady before they went on that all he has to do is to smoulder into the camera and he’s doing that alright. This is being oerformed really well and looks more confident every time I see it and he has really learned his craft this week if he hadn’t already!! – He’s a great singer with a decent song and that all works for me.
16.02.19 – John Stanton
Belarussians went playing instruments. Fitting as Maimuna is the fastest fiddle on the planet – it’s official. uzari looks just a little bit serious as he approaches her during the song. To be fair, he’s singing the a*se off this song and Maimuna is a damn good violinist. Even when faced with a big wind-machine. There seems to be a big audience reaction too.
16.04.51 – John Stanton
Elhaida is a striking beauty in a sparkly frock. Imagine Tjrjijnjtje from Netherlands, The but more flattering. They need to work on the strobe lighting at the end which turns our screens completely white for a few seconds. Less is more would be better in my book.
16.05.29 – oneurope
Russia is playing a blinder here. It’s very big and in your face and is hoovering all sorts of votes from everywhere even if you think that the song is a cyncical attempt to get votes ( Which it is)… It’s all very white and white but yeah, that will get it’s share of points. Polina is a great singer.
16.06.25 – John Stanton
More Green Room action from the host Conchita. She ably interviews Stig, Elina (Eesti) and Bojana (Srbija). Plenty of erudite questions and profound answers.
16.07.42 – oneurope
Denmark get…. a Hat and a trip to the mountains in the snow… Sadly, they come back 😉
16.11.09 – John Stanton
We’re being told to ‘give it up’ for Denmark. Their words, not mine. Danes get an extra big box and go tobogganing for their postcard. This song could only be Danish. Yeah, they try to be sub-Beatles but they don’t fool me. I fear for it though coming after the Russian opus and the ad break. It would be a breath of fresh air in the final.
16.11.24 – oneurope
Ex Chief Secretary to the Treasury of the UK Danny Alexander clearly has a ginger Danish Love Child here as yer man doesn’t exactly own the stage but borrow it for 3 minutes on HP.
It’s a servicable song that I personally like, I’m not sure the televoters will be able to pick the phone up for it straight after an advert break though, they *might* go “Awww bless” but based on this, where the stage is more exciting than your lead singer, it’s going to be hard work as it seems to be going on for 30 seconds too long… – Still fighting for 8-12th I suspect.
16.12.13 – John Stanton
The postal system in Albania deliver a snow-plough ignition key to Elhaida Dani. She must like her monster trucks.
16.12.14 – oneurope
Albania have been given the key to a brand new snow plough in their postcard….. I’m sure someone thought about women drivers!
16.15.18 – oneurope
Rather worryingly, the free coffee in the press centre isn’t keeping me awake at all – I have a wine tasting this evening…. I suspect that Albania is sending me off to sleep though, It just passes me by and although she is performing it, it just merges into the background and doesn’t really go places that a qualifier should do. Having said all of that, tough, She finally gets into it in the last 30-45 seconds of the song, which is good enough to get it back on the bubble for qualifying.
16.16.44 – oneurope
Romania – Song number 15 out of 16 get a trip to a trotting track (whoaaa Neddy) and some trotting racing to boot where the Romanian’s win… Coming over here, taking their trophies etc…..
16.16.55 – John Stanton
The Romanians are off trotting. Some lovely horses there but I prefer it when they go over the hurdles.
16.20.33 – John Stanton
Romanian lead singer ditches white shirt in favour of black one shocker. It makes him look a little more earnest in my opinion. Quite appropriate I think. If there are any UKIP supporters viewing this, I’d be particularly grateful for your comments on this song. Personally, I love it and it does make you think. Bucharest 2016? An outside possibilty.
16.20.58 – oneurope
I missed Romania…. Thankfully John didn’t lol
16.23.33 – John Stanton
Georgia’s Nina – definitely not another Sopho – goes dress-making. No, she’s not making the frock we see her in. That severe black outfit with feathers, a sturdy thigh and long boots remain. One thing that doesn’t remain is her ability to hit all the right notes. It’s a little off-key in places, in the same way Jemini were. Maybe she’s holding back. Or maybe not. Brilliant stage show though.
16.23.44 – oneurope
Georgia. Warrior number one has been missing notes here…. It sounds harsh on the ears and possibly in the wind machine which is the worry here. It doesn’t look bad, but it sounds a little bit off which is a problem in a singing competition if we’re calling it…. An audible gasp around me when she misses a 2nd important high note… This is now in danger unless she does some restorative surgery on this quick smart!
16.24.57 – oneurope
And that’s your lot… They’ll be some shenanigans in the green room and an interval but thats the meat and potatoes of it… Thank you all for tuning in…. Thank you for not thinking we’re a bit shit 😉