So we’ve hit 3pm local time and there’s no feed into the press centre.
Luckily, come 3.14 it starts!
Views of 2013, then Ms de Forrest and people across Europe singing some Danish song that will never catch on. Bring back ‘Saturday night’ all is forgiven.
Those crazy Danes and their command of the English language, eh? They introduce our hosts and I’ve no idea what they’re called. They’re talking to an empty arena. Dear reader, you can vote for your fave up to 20 times. No more, otherwise the 2001 hosts will come and get you.
The postcards end in the flag formed in a particular way. I won’t spoil the surprise for you.
Aram CD is earnest and goes all gutsy on us. His long coat might cause some suspicion in public spaces but it was OK.
Mr Jorgen from Aarzemnieki is wearing a white shirt. With his long hair he almost looks a little god like. Lord of all baked goods perhaps?
Big Tanja, little Tanja. She’s tiny on that massive stage. So tiny she’s just a white blur amongst a big parquet floor.
Sanna Nielsen. Yawn. SVT weren’t happy last night. Bad lights or bad singing or something like that. It went better today but she won’t win. She’ll qualify and get a first half spot in the final. How I’ll guffaw when that happens.
Iceland think we all look the same on the inside. I’ve never looked myself. But if you like bright colours Teletubbies style, then vote for Iceland.
Our commercial break tells us about who holds one particular Eurovision record. I won’t spoil it for you.
Hersi looks a little tired. it’s a tough contest and if she’s like Riigi here, she’s been on the alcohol almost every night. Songs after ad breaks never prosper. Sorry Albania.
Tomalchevy Twins had no posh frocks or single hairpiece this afternoon. They had their inanimate carbon rods though. Maybe they#re nuclear devices they’ll use on us if they don’t’ qualify. It’s just too saccharine for me though.
Azerbaijan could win this contest again anytime they choose. They just choose not to, and will do the same this year. And they’ve finally added the Bakuvian nose flute to the backing track.
I like Mariya and am a little starstruck in her presence. She can almost do no wrong. Even writhing about on a giant hamster wheel is good in my books. Ukraine to the final.
I’ve just watched Belgium and it’s that sickly I need never drink Coke again. It might be a high salt diet from now on. I don’t want to to qualify.
Moldovan music makes your hair fall out. Don’t listen ton it Mr Hacksaw. i just don’t get this, with it’s hair pulling antics, levitating dancers and half-dress-half suit of armour combo. not for me.
Dear San Marino. If you’re sending Valentina in 2015, then give her a jazz song. I’ll repeat that. Give her a jazz song. Not a 1970s muzak song a certain song writer’s had in a drawer for 40 years. bye bye RSM.
Another ad break and another record. It’ll be a ‘nice’ surprise.
Portugal lambada on stage and completely detach my retinas with their garish-yet-patriotic colour scheme. It’s not my cup of Kvass I’m afraid. But it will probably get through.
The Dutch are more like it. Amshterdam 2015 anyone? Great sing of its genre and nice and adult. Go Netherlands
Montenegro. Love it love it love it. And what’s wrong with a skater. If you know what’s good for you, this will be in the final on Saturday.
Finally Finbar Saunders sings his child abuse song at us. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good song but has a dark theme.
I’m finishing now, as I have to get back to Riigi Mansions and change for tonight’s show. But my 10 are:
Armenia, Azerbaijan, Hungary, Iceland, Latvia, Montenegro, Netherlands (The), Russia, Sweden, Ukraine
Good luck to all.