The last mob
So what’s next?
Belarus
Comes on wrapped one of them tinfoil blankets they give dying winos and then has plenty of lads throwing themselves about at her feet. Then the first kit off moment of the week before a launch into some reasonably bouncy near-disco.
Might so OK. Ish!
Netherlands
Ooh, thought this one was doomed to failure, but she’s looking dead good. A nice, humble performance, lots of smiling and a huge voice. Not so sure about the big pics of her mug on the side-stage plinths, and she’s been a bit of a diva round the back, but, dash it, this’ll probably qualify. Bah!
Iceland
I like this ‘un, but it still confuses me. It ploughs along in a sub-Bunton stylee and just when you think the chorus is going to kick, is slows down and skulks. Hmm. The chorus, when it does get going, pounds, and the routine’s slick, but I still don’t quite get what it’s for. Should qualify mind.
Belgium
Looks so clipped and shiny they probably got him out of a box. Quite dull, his voice is on the waver, and they’re destined for qualification forever on this performance.
Estonia
Why oh why oh why do they insist on sticking with those blimmin’ DJ jobbies? The song’s so bouncy they need to be unleashed ages before the halfway point when the joy finally kicks in. I hope this does the business, but I reckon it’s borderline.
Norway
Yay, it’s the pub Scorpions! Or Dio on stilts! We like this. It may be rubbish bar glam in the wider scheme of things, in the contest it’s like Motorhead covering Extreme Noise Terror. Well, comparatively so. Should wheedle its way out of qualifying, and could well top five on the night – unless it scares the Belarussian housewife too much, that is.
Right then, we’re going off to eat at a Cossack restaurant. Hopfully they won’t murder us and steel our gold teeth.
Till the crack of dawn then…