Ooh hello, it’s me again. You may have seen me on TV (No? *sulk*) and thought I was too hoity toity for this larky these days. But no. On-U is my spiritual home, and I couldn’t desert you, our loyal reader.
Those other boys have been talking all about the songs, so you won’t need me adding to the clutter, so instead I’ll be your social secretary and let you know what’s been going on in the meta-Eurovison, and what’s been happening around the town.
Unlike many recent hosts, Copenhagen hasn’t entirely woken up in its role as Eurovision land just yet. Sure there’s banners down the Eurovision mile, and the occasional hording reciting the skibbidy doo lyric of the home song, but aside from that the city is slowly awakening to the fact that there’s a gurt big song contest going on at that big of wasteland over the river.
Mind you, they’ve got plenty of their own liveliness to keep them going. A Friday night stroll down the main shopping boulevard of Stroget offers many delights, from the massed ranks of east European accordion players, and DJ kids sitting on the front of bicycles with decks pumping out the banging deep house sounds. It’s truly bonkers. I think I’ve found the place where the Eurovillage is going to be, but at the moment there’s just a bored looking security guard sat in a car by some staging.
Euroclub’s been a slow-burning delight. The sparse early crowds have been bolstered by this weekend’s punter upsurge, and the whole thing is being expanded to fit the swelling numbers tonight. So far we’ve been treated to a South African songstress belting out ESC covers… in Afrikaans, and Israeli dance troupe Eurofalsh miming along to the eurohits for hours on end, all ably hosted by semi-final old girl DQ.
Of the artist performances, the Latvians delighted and surprised many with their skiffle singalongs of many of this year’s hits, Greece were so bouncy that the stage could barely hold them, but perhaps the biggest surprise was seeing Belgian ballad boy Axel pumping out an unlikely version of Euphoria – which you can see here if you don’t believe me…
Yesterday was also a fine treat, as the city of Roskilde treated us to a free look around the city’s finest attractions. Not only did I get out esteemed height-hating OnEurope editor up onto the roof of a cathedral, but his similar fear of boats was put to the test when we dragged him onto a viking longboat and thrust an oar into his perspiring mitts. Then they gave us a lovely free dinner and plied us with mead. You can’t knock this kind of junket – it’s what we’re here for!
Oh, the songs you say? There are songs? Fear not, I shall be preparing a little piece about why none of them are going to win presently. Although this year it’s going to be extra tricky as it seems that everyone is desperately trying not to!
I doff my hat to you, Mr Hacksaw!
Awww!
Poor Phil, did he forgive you?