So how is the final shaping up?

Although I wasn’t live blogging the dress rehearsal I will give a few thoughts I jotted down during it. It opens with a mercifully brief “flag ceremony” which I believe wasn’t transmitted to the press room. I’m not sure why the secrecy as half of us are in here anyway but it’s very nice. A parade of the artists follows, welcoming each, also much quicker than Malmö’s bridge opening. A couple of technical hitches (the Greeks & Poles suffering an identity crisis) but we’re off.

Ukraine is a good opener, a simple effect, an intimate camera not giving the whole of the stage away to first time viewers. Belarus is a good second, much improved for me too. With both out of the way the first big ballad comes with Azerbaijan, a good choice to get something so classy on early. I still find it difficult to watch because I’m terrified the trapeze artist will plunge to her death; those Government safety information films instilled a terror of accidents in me from an early age. She’s safely through this rehearsal though. Iceland ups the energy next, a good choice to get it done early and build throughout the show but at the same time it may be early reinforcement to some viewers that the Contest is just one of nonsense songs from the initial look of the band & the staging, although I’ve warmed to this considerably after a closer look at Mr Pink & Mr Red yesterday when the came to play at the UK OGAE meet-up.

We’re providing Cheap Effect No.1a for Norway with our phones’ flashlights next. This looks and sounds wonderful and has a good chance wherever it would have been placed. Romania now, with all the bells and whistles. We know, readers, you share our love of cheese and this is the full-on fromagerie section of this year’s show. Even up near the back I can smell Ovi’s Stinking Bishop. Thank goodness that’s over. From the ridiculous to the sublime we now have the favourite Armenia singing 7th. Aram 78rpm is in mufti, sporting a Union Jack t-shirt but still with the Armenian flag badge. It contrasts so well with what’s gone before it, but I still think he looks too angry to win. The staging really comes into its own now, it’s simply stunning. Continuing the ballad-heavy first half we have the simplicity of Montenegro, here for the first time in their own right. Maybe the bird-like creature on the roller-blades isn’t as bad as it first seemed? Sergej has a lovely warm look to him singing, it feels like honey oozing all over you, and not in a gloopy or naughty way. It’s the kind of song that traditionally fared well at Eurovision a few years back. I can see this being a top-tenner, you know. I’ve had goosebumps throughout this rehearsal.

Back to upbeat with Poland and the boobies. Even as a gay man I can appreciate the ample cleavage on display here and love the sauciness of it all. They’ve become a big hit here in the hall. A strong part if the show here as it’s Greece next and all the liveliness of the boys. The week of fun is admittedly taking its toll on the vocals here but it’s not the kind of song where that matters so much as the overall impression, which is very strong. Lovely end shot of the boys on the trampoline. And now we have Austria. Blimey, don’t leave to refill your glasses just yet, this is a cracking section! Whatever happens in the voting Conchita’s performance is stunning and she has carried herself with such dignity this week and through her song. How to follow that? Badly, it would seem, with Germany during which many of the audience here have actually left to refill their glasses. It’s flat as a pancake with barely anyone paying any attention. A giant party popper momentarily stirs the crowd, only to be followed by an exceptionally limp finish. It’s exactly the kind of unsatisfactory climax we’ve all been disappointed by before. Yes, you know the ones.

We’re halfway there, bear with us. A quick break and it’s Cheap Effect No.1b with the phones for Sanna from Sweden. Her spotlight seems to have unfurled and her back door closed with none of the problems of the Jury & Live Semi Finals. There needs to be a bit if time to get Sanna’s mirror ball off stage before France. Here’s there are some changes: the backing singer is now stage right, one if the dancers joins Laurent down the catwalk and the backdrop & floor have some subtle, but much improved images. Patrick still has his top off for me. It’s a thing of beauty. Fun and frolics from one set of twins before we get the Contest’s second set of twins, the sisters from Russia. After impressing me in the semi final this feels flat today and here in the order but it is just a rehearsal, maybe it will pick up with some atmosphere. Our third Big Fiver comes next from Italy, with Emma engaging better with camera whilst keeping some of her trademark rock chick antics. I’m just not really feeling this as I should though, or at least how we should to ring up and support it.

Tinkara Kovač is next from Slovenia, for many a surprise qualifier from last night, but it is a good song. She looks like she might have celebrated with a couple of sweet sherries last night, and good on her as that was probably her real victory. I expect this will be in the lower half on Saturday. More rock now from the Finnish boys which is made for a stadium like this. Brilliant, and I think this will be in the mix once the points come in, somewhere around the top 10. Time for a ballad? I think so, and it’s a big one from Spain. We have a rain shower effect on stage which looks amazing. Ruth’s hair is wet and the bizarre pattern on the dress is gone. The power of her vocal is still here but it’s a softer sound to it. By crikey, this is very good! And with a cracking draw. Blimey, might we get to Barcelona after all…?

Switzerland now and cheeky charmer Sebastian. The camera loves him and many a fan boy has professed to wishing to join him for a fiddle and a blow, now with an added bang as he has a drum to finish. Talking of fiddling we now have perhaps the darkest themed song of the show from the lovely Kallay-Saunders Andras from Hungary. This draw really helps him. He’s got a tank top on with his big guns out for all to see. I’m swooning. I’m not though thinking he’s going to win anymore but it could be a top-tenner. From wishing your father didn’t come home to celebrating a prodigal return from Malta next. Richard’s vocal still seems a tad muted in the opening lines but this late appearance from them can surely only do them a huge favour. Many people have thus as a dark horse. I hope it is, I got it at 66/1 each way.

Four to go and the place erupts for the home entry Basim from Denmark. It’s rousing and gets us all going (and possibly coming back next year…). The enormous banner that unfurls from the rafters has been replaced. Instead of an image of Basim as Our Glorious Leader it now simply says Love. The shifting of the banner proves tricky after the song and we’re revealed a pre-planned cover clip with a voice over that there are technical difficulties so let’s have a trip down memory lane. It’s good they’ve thought ahead but looks rather clumsy if they have to use it in the night. The biggest dark horse of all cones next, The Netherlands, which has caused a flurry if interest globally in the download charts. It’s a thing of beauty than perhaps now really is in with a chance, interest having been piqued to pay attention as opposed to tune-out.

It’s a wonderful late draw for debutante finalist San Marino singing second to last. This was my loo break in the first semi and I didn’t anticipate seeing it again to be honest. Eurovision über-composer Ralph Siegel joins Valentina onstage to play piano. Wouldn’t it be a story if this made a dent on the scoreboard with her polyester clam shell? Finally after all these songs it’s Molly for the UK. She has a long time to get nervous with this line up. You might get a shot if the back of my head in the postcard before hand. Firstly the vocals are very strong indeed here. It’s a very strong performance overall. It only remains to see whether the late draw will boost or hamper her chances. There was a rehearsed link to thank the commentators and a chat with Graham Norton immediately afterwards which might help to reinforce the UK’s performance. Graham’s not actually here yet though, so hopefully this stays for the broadcast.

The interval act looks to the Eurovision of the future but I didn’t see that, I was on the oh one to my mum who says she likes The Netherlands. So that’s game over then, Amsterdam 2015. Gosh I’ll come back twice the size after all those vlaamse frites…

Monty x