Why your favourite song won’t win Eurovision 2015

You all have a favourite song. Or favourites. It’s allowed apparently. But have you read and digested the lyric for each one?

Well, no fear, here are the choicest cuts for you. Yes, just for you.

Albania – I know you will come with the speed of light

Armenia – Cross the ocean of blues, happy you’ll be

Australia – Do watcha watcha watcha want, do whatcha whatcha whatcha want

Austria – If you’re hoping for second chances, of stolen kisses, I got the answer

Azerbaijan – I will go till I’m numb, rise above with me, No, I won’t sleep tonight

Belarus – All we’ve got are some days and I am trying not to waste

Belgium – Far beneath the skin it rumbles, step to the step of the drum that rolls inside

Cyprus – Has turned a rusty shade of all the saddest colours in the world

Czech Republic – Ravens calling my name, their wings so dark

Denmark – Movie stars and caviar, couldn’t get me where you are

Estonia – I was frozen by the jingle of my keys at the door, as I got outside I smiled to the dog

Finland – Every time I have to visit the doctor

France – They wanted to destroy our beliefs as their weapons

Georgia – Fighter oximated world’s gonna get up and see

Germany – And when you call me baby, what’s that supposed to mean?

Greece – Just pain fake love and drunken lie

Hungary – For having a face someone can’t stand

Iceland – One step at a time and pick up the pieces, try putting them back together

Ireland – And I made the mess in your vision and I see a debt to be paid

Israel – Do you like my dancing?

Italy – I close my eyes and think of her, the sweet scent of her skin

Latvia – Your eye’s a good mirror, look under the cover

Lithuania – How ’bout we just go out for a drink?

Macedonia FYR – Hanging from our knees up in the willow trees easy like the month of June

Malta – The noise is louder then it’s ever been

Moldova – ‘Cause you got what I want, what I want, what I want, want, want, I want your love

Montenegro – I try to forget, to not think of you, but for you, my heart sighs

Netherlands – Why why-aiaiai why aiaiai?

Norway – I have pulled the trigger on this awful truth

Poland – Beyond the fear, let’s build the bridge

Portugal – And the taste of honey in your mouth

Romania – If tomorrow the sky is too full of clouds

Russia – Now as the world is listening from cities and satellites

San Marino – And together hand in hand we will feel the love inside

Serbia – Beneath the veil of skin the heart’s entangled within

Slovenia – When you’re down, down low, you gotta let me heal your aching soul

Spain – Hey yeah yeah yeah yeah … uh …

Sweden – I make worms turn into butterflies

Switzerland – No more pulling me down, no more mucking around

United Kingdom – Don’t get in a fist fight, that pretty face can’t be replaced