Eurovision Countdown 2025: Croatia is tortured

Croatia
Marko Bošnjak – Poison Cake

Somewhere in a candlelit gothic basement, Poison Cake was baked with great ambition and at least seven too many ingredients. Marko, serving 90s boyband with a side of tortured poet, appears to be aiming for theatrical darkness à la Bambi Thug, but ends up with something more like a misunderstood sixth former’s GCSE art project.

The song lurches from style to style with the grace of a broken Roomba: one minute baroque balladry, the next industrial angst, then a faint nod to Balkan folk before veering into screechy melodrama. The vocal, meanwhile, has been processed into such oblivion it might as well have been faxed in. It’s chaotic, yes—but not the kind that thrills. Just the kind that exhausts.

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Lesley Kelly
Lesley Kelly
25 days ago

A polite round of applause after this is performed in Basle. Then oblivion.