Eurovision Countdown 2025: Malta is just slaying

Malta
Miriana Conte – Serving

Ah, Malta. That plucky island nation whose Eurovision strategy seems increasingly based on handing the keys to someone young, eager, and not remotely prepared, and then praying a viral moment will somehow happen along the way. Enter Miriana Conte and Serving, a title which all but announces its intention to target the Drag Race demographic with laser-guided precision.

And to be fair, it ticks the boxes. Struttable beat? Check. Sassy lyrics about nothing in particular? Check. Studio sheen so thick it could double as lip gloss? Check. But here’s the thing: when you aim squarely at the gay club crowd, you need more than attitude and a four-on-the-floor beat. You need personality, presence, and—this being a song contest—some semblance of a chorus that sticks.

Serving has none of that. It’s lyrically anaemic, structurally flat, and sounds like it was assembled from royalty-free dance loops and a Pinterest board titled “Slay Queen Energy.” There’s no development, no drama—just exhausting key-phrase repetition over a beat that already sounds dated. The whole thing feels like a production showcase for a performer still finding her voice, thrown into the spotlight before anyone stopped to check if the mic was on.

As for the headline-hungry PR angle—yes, we saw the attempt to spark a moral panic by suggesting that Maltese telly had smuggled a certain four-letter word into primetime. Let’s be honest: if you’re relying on that to generate buzz, you’re aware the song probably isn’t up to the job.

Miriana deserves better—a better song, a better strategy, and better guidance. Let’s hope this isn’t another case of Malta chewing up another bright young thing and spitting them out before they’ve had a chance to grow. But the song? No thank you.

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