And so, at a snail’s pace, we move onward to the middle part of the scoreboard. Also-rans … or have we all missed something?
19th Serbia
Avg Jury Position – 18.76 Avg Televote Position – 16.50
There are some songs that I just don’t get, and this is one of them. Thankfully, the juries saw through this on the Friday and the usual Balkans gave them a few points. Televote-wise, neighbours came to the fore with all four of its Balkan chums placing the song first or second in the televoting. Local song for local people that did nothing outside of that.
18th The Netherlands
Avg Jury Position – 12.57 Avg Televote Position – 15.14
Everyone’s favourite objectionable oik finished far too high for my liking with his stage performance and his attitude, but take away the persona, and the song is alright, you know. Just a shame that being a racist cock didn’t help.
17th Ukraine
Avg Jury Position – 19.07 Avg Televote Position – 12.90
Death by jury is the motto for this song. They absolutely killed its chances stone dead by seeing a televoter-friendly big performance with fire and stairs and kitchen sinks. The type of things that televoters love. Yes, it’s not fresh and exciting, but it’s also not worthy of just 11 points either.
16th Ireland
Avg Jury Position – 11.85 Avg Televote Position – 13.10
A case of so near and yet so far for the Celtic Tiger. “The one about the gays” will only get you so far in the competition with the non-gay crowd though, and whilst yer man Ryan has a good voice, it was weak in the upper register and got on people’s tits. This surprised me though, ‘cos I thought it was dead in the water – classic example of polishing a rough song and getting the best out of it.
15th Norway
Avg Jury Position – 12.98 Avg Televote Position – 11.09
Never ever have I been so happy to see a bag of literal fan w*nk fail so miserably at a contest. The juries saw through this crap and didn’t think that was how you wrote a song, rather saw what we all saw – a cynical attempt to get the votes. They didn’t buy into it. Televoters saw Alexander perform near the beginning of the show, and it got lost within all of the stronger songs late on. Producer-led positioning killed this.
14th Bulgaria
Avg Jury Position – 12.09 Avg Televote Position – 13.83
Seems as though the jury saw this as a clever song, but the televoters saw it as too clever by half. It did seem, for the casual viewer, a touch disjointed and a little bit of a mess – the juries, however, seemed to “get” the project, but it didn’t connect with both of them in sufficient numbers to do business.
13th France
Avg Jury Position – 12.07 Avg Televote Position – 12.36
This *should* have been higher – but it wasn’t. The reasoning behind the 13th position isn’t immediately obvious, but I suspect that the message was lost for the viewers and the jurors, and they just had better songs placed above it. Nothing “wrong” with the song, but not that much to make people cast a positive vote for it.
12th Lithuania
Avg Jury Position – 12.54 Avg Televote Position – 13.79
A cracking little song this and there would not have been dry eyes all over Europe. This is *that* song that is inexplicably underscored. Should have appealed to everyone and, in a way, it did – just not enough.
11th Albania
Avg Jury Position – 11.19 Avg Televote Position – 16.64
This one doesn’t need an explanation, the split of jury and televote tells you everything you need to know here. Jurors saw the confident performance of a well-written and structured song. Televoters were clearly looking at something else!