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So under the “No vids, no pics, sit down and write” rule the EBU have put in place this year there is no live blog of the first dress rehearsals but what we DO have is a Mr Nick perched precariously at the side of the stage, a notepad, a sharpened pencil and some thoughts that he can share after the show.
Go ahead there…..
Welcome to Switzerland. PARP!
We’re opening strong in Switzerland. Alphorns. A lot of alphorns. PARP!
The opening VT crashes through the Alps and into Eurovision territory with all the subtlety of a Toblerone avalanche. Then the yodelling kicks in. Because of course it does. It’s Switzerland 🇨🇭.
We meet our hosts Hazel and Sandra—Hazel armed with the sort of crisp, over-pronounced voice that can only mean one thing: Eurovision has begun. A nostalgic clip of Sandra from 1991 follows, along with a few jokes. It’s refreshingly brisk. This isn’t 1989. No interminable preamble. We’re getting to the songs.
Væb, vibes and Spain surprises
Unfortunately, your roving reporter is positioned behind a goalpost. I’m relying on the big screen for most of Væb’s performance. I’m ajust. (No idea what that means. Let’s assume it’s Swiss for “coping badly.”)
Iceland brings no real surprises but delivers a tight, confident showing. Then Justyna appears with a snowy postcard. The vibe screams cheese, and not just because we’re still in Switzerland.
Tommy hits the stage with all the sleek precision of a Eurovision entry that’s trying very hard to be something. There’s audience interaction, graphics, and a sense of manufactured chaos. It’s the same sort of precision-awfulness that worked for Finland last year. Sort of.
We roll into our first break with a blast of Swiss hits. Possibly all of them.
Spain heads off to Luzern in their postcard—is that chocolate? I may have underestimated this. Actually, no. I have underestimated this. It’s full of silhouettes, curtains, and ridiculously large notes. Dramatic. Excessive. Eurovision.
Cheese, wrestling and thermometers
Ukraine’s turn. Took six entries for me to clock that each song starts with a postcard. This one possibly features cheese. The staging doesn’t match their strongest years—some nice setpieces, but nothing that screams winner. That said, the bar is high this year.
Sweden? Wrestling. That’s… not something I ever expected to witness, nor something I’m likely to recover from.
KAJ turns up. No major surprises, but there’s a thermometer effect on the goalposts, which is genuinely quite lovely.
We take another break to lightly discuss the Rest of the World vote. Then, back to Switzerland.
Croatian cold comfort
Basel’s segment involves shipping containers and the suggestion of a voyage. Except Basel isn’t far, and the containers just look chunky.
There’s a welcome pause in the pace with a song that brings actual stillness. Staccato moments at the end are beautifully punctuated with some slick camerawork. Not that you see much of it from my seat in the arena.
Cyprus. Theo appears to be off clubbing in the postcard. Soon after, he’s back on stage whipping scaffolding around like a man trying to build his own set mid-performance. Very busy, very kinetic—possibly got a bit too excited and outpaced his own rhythm.
Claude takes the stage next—covering every inch of it in what can only be described as a charismatic blur. Shame the song itself is a bit lightweight.
Quick note to self: if you’re going to miss a note, best to do it during the mad lighting changes. No one will know. Croatia follows with a frosty-looking postcard from Zermatt, and then a segment that brings back memories of Farmhouse Kitchen. Only colder. Grace Mulligan would be horrified. Also, there’s a big serpent. Obviously.
And yet, it’s wholehearted. No half measures. That alone might win people over.
Then we get a very simple banger—looks more dynamic than it has any right to. There’s even a melodeon. We’ve not had one of those in minutes!
Postcards, props and gardening gigs
Albania? Straight to Basel for the postcard shoot. Might have been a minor mic issue, but otherwise: brilliant. Maybe their best entry yet?
Dutch postcard? Missed it. I was typing. That’s live blogging for you.
We get a fun little clip compilation next. One moment delights Lisa-Jayne Lewis, so job done. Mamagama earn their barbecue lunch by gardening. It’s that kind of afternoon.
Another heavily staged vocal performance leaves me unsure if the singer’s actually hitting the tricky notes or just dancing near them. The arena mix isn’t helping. I’m not feeling great about it.
San Marino’s Gabry takes us to Bruzella for a bit of food. What food? Don’t know. Some sort.
Women duscuss weight
Back to break again. This time the conversation turns to weight. Not that kind—prop weight. Women discussing staging gadget limits like it’s an Olympic committee briefing.
Belgium’s postcard takes us to the top of Jungfrau. I’m surprisingly charmed by these tourism reels. Sebastian’s song has a few daring notes that could either seal the deal or end in total collapse. I think he’s landing them.
Italy’s Lucia is off to Basel for a tram ride. Frankly, I’d go with her.
And then comes a truly lovely entry. Simple, effective staging with a hint of Sam Ryder-style guitar twiddling at the end. No harm in that. I liked it.
previously on oneurope…
Right. So. Either I can carefully tighten and tidy the contents of my electronic notepad for you, OR… (Mr Phil – Not. Next time he’s taking in his computer because he knows better!)
It’s literally like a friend was messaging you from the hall………
