Belgium – That’s a lot better thanks
Sennek has upped her game since her first rehearsal but, quite frankly, that wouldn't take much. I'm still not convinced that the opening shot...
Iceland – it *is* too late to save this
Poor young Ari. As we know by now, he's been lumbered with this pile of shite. He's better than this. He has to be...
Taking the Hacksaw to Eurovision Semi 2
Now that we've seen all of the songs in the Eurovision semi-final shows here in Lisbon, we asked our occasional contributor-at-large Roy D Hacksaw to give...
Albania and NOT Iceland next
Iceland have been delayed by a car crash they have not been involved in (Ironic, given on stage they will be involved in one...
Azerbaijan – Second time around
Now remember we've got FIFTEEN of these to get through today.
Aisel is now dancing on the cheeses from the first day, she tends to...
Eurovision 2018 – Everything we said about day four
Powered by noodles, beer and pastéis de nata, the OnEuropeans reported back from the Altice Arena for a fourth day. The last nine semi-final...
All kinds of ridiculous but still love it
So, the crazy second semi final draws to a close with one of my favourite songs 'Under The Ladder' and Melovin. It’s all kind...
Ukraine – I’ve *literally* run out of words
Literally run.out.of.words. Melovin starts this performance in a piano - yes *in* the piano itself, surrounded by some sort of rib cage effect. He...
Ukraine – vampires are alive … again
Ukraine brings the semi finals to a close. And it’s a confusing close. Melovin is lying down, looking like he’s strapped into some contraption...