Spain – It’s been such a long time since I offended anyone…

Blas Cantó, Spain, First Rehearsal, Rotterdam Ahoy, 13 May 2021 — EBU / Thomas Hans
Blas Cantó, Spain, First Rehearsal, Rotterdam Ahoy, 13 May 2021 — EBU / Thomas Hans

Blas sings the first two stanzas of this song without music, and I am holding back saying that it improves the whole thing – oh wait, I just did.

Some Spanish followers will have a fan-gasm over this. As far as they are concerned, Blas can do no wrong. In fact any Spaniard could recite the plumbing section of the Madrid Yellow Pages, and it would automatically be new and fresh and exciting and etc. This isn’t any of those things. This is a bland three minutes of beige, which will be in amongst the Maltas and Germanys and Italys of this Contest.

Blas stands and tries to emote, but he looks too “boyband”, as opposed to “I’ve lost my gran and this is actually what the song is about” for me to take it seriously. His nod to The UK’s massive on-stage horns is a massive… Moon (Neither Alfie or Harvey, you really are going to have to Google some of those references). It’s likely there to create an eclipse with the sun that shines out (of his arse?) on the stage. Blas is clearly comfortable singing in front of it, statically, with zero movement.

The people that are going to be uncomfy with this song are the important people: the voters. It’s the same weak, uninspiring dross that TVE has put in every time for a thousand years. It’s going to barely register a flicker on the televoter scale after they’ve had their senses attacked elsewhere. It’s not even a good change of pace, which it’s probably aiming for in this Contest. It’s just boringly average … and that is the worst kind of Eurovision song.

Image Credits: EBU / Thomas Hans.

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