Moldova – In complete contrast
This is what the viewer wants ... or so it seems in the United Kingdom, based on recent televoting patterns. There are many songs...
Russia – Why do I get the feeling …
... that this is a whole load of wrong?
It appears that Julia has been placed slightly lower in the chamber of magma and the...
Eurovision 2018 – On the sixth day in Lisbon …
Following a local liquor tasting incident, Mr Phil took to his bed this morning - or rather demanded some respite - and so, for...
And finally, France … hmmmm
A literal fuckton of people in this place have decided that, after the first run-through - this song is the best thing since sliced...
And mercifully, La France is our last
Et enfin, la France. Thankfully, this is a simple presentation, no attempts to over complicate it. The pair are on stage in black outfits,...
Germany (just) and Italy
I'm doing a double header, which I realise will cause that Phil a headache as it didn't fit the nice neat end of day...
Germany: don’t get it Ted
Well considering this is a song about the death of his dad, Michael has made this sound as though this is a three-minute anger...
Italy – Fundamental mistake ahoy
The Italian delegation has committed one of the major cardinal sins of Eurovision staging. They have made "projections" of words a part of the...
Spain – Oh my actual …
Is it wrong that we found this more exciting? No, seriously, I found this funnier, more entertaining and more realistic than the absolute shite-fest...
Spain: more sweet, less saccharine
Spain, and if the amount of social media attention is anything to go by then this would be the winner by a mile. The...