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ESTONIA – Espresso Macchiato – Tommy Cash
Well, this is interesting. I’m having to take a second shot at writing this one, because my first (unpublished!) attempt was further beyond vicious than I like to go. This isn’t much of an entry, it doesn’t quite deserve the hatchet job I gave it in the first draft, so I’ll try again.
Now, I like a good joke as much as anybody. A good joke is kind-hearted, it’s delivered with a twinkle in its eye, and it doesn’t hurt anyone.
I’m not sure that this is the intention here. I fear that Tommy is here to make us all look stupid. I mean, some of us are stupid, and by all means some of those who aren’t stupid do sometimes look stupid.
That last sentence made more sense in my head.
Anyway, though, Tommy isn’t really giving me much to work with in judging his offering. I’ll grudgingly concede that in the artistically awful lyrics there are some genius moments – this might be the first attempt to rhyme lemons with demons in the history of music – and melodically it’s quite fun, but overall he’s worked so hard at looking like he’s phoning it in that it actually does look like he’s phoning it in.
Put a bit of affection into it, lad. You’ll make friends for life at this contest if you want to. On the other hand, if you pretend to be an arse successfully enough then you’ll just end up with everyone thinking you’re an arse, and that’s only one step up the road from actually being an arse.
OK. The first draft was indeed significantly more vicious than that. I’ve got to get the next six written by the end of tomorrow, so I don’t have time to go over it a third time!
Nick’s score: 4
