Latvian Eurovision pirates totally terrifying in a bad way
As Roy might say, 'Shit my old boots!' It was totally terrifying in a bad way. Shambolic in the extreme, their singing - or...
It’s all a bit meh for Cyprus
Nick: There's a strange man about four feet to my right who keeps saying "meh" at me. I'm underwhelmed myself. Evdokia starts the song...
Morena has it wrapped up for Malta
Phil: There is a saying that some singers could qualify at Eurovision without opening their mouths. This is the problem that Morena is having....
Hungary by candlelight
Hungary was very strong indeed. Its not going to win any staging originality awards, lots of - eeerm - Candles on stage which is...
I hate it, but it just might win
Well now. I have to say this is honestly one of the songs I detest most in this year's contest, but from what I've...
Blowing in the wind
A few problems to start as they near deafened her by feeding the sound through her ear-piece too loud. I'd written this off as...
Okay only a little stretch to go
Phil and Nick have abandoned me and no doubt in homage to my pasta efforts earlier in the day have gone home by way...
And La France
Franko: Here we go again. Another song I actually like that's given an unremarkable presentation and likely to finish in the bottom five. There's...
The Portu Gal – Heavy and dramatic
Phil: I am in a minority of one here. When asked, in a very jocular mode by Mr RDH, how many points this would...
German feathers
Nick: Germany are not adding anything to the sum of my happiness right now. No Angels are five lasses - who were, apparently, HUGE...