14 August – I don’t need certainty to get my pot of gold

After a couple of years of up-in-the-airness, our favourite TV show is getting more back on an even keel. Yes, that’s a mix of metaphors but we can at least be hopeful for 2023.

Now in all the contests since 1956, every competing performer – except one – has walked on the Eurovision stage. That one sole performer is today’s birthday girl Montaigne (née Jessica Alyssa Cerro). Whilst performers from 38 other countries were living it up in Rotterdam, Montaigne was still many thousands of kilometres away, wishing she was there. Instead, she had to rely on a legendary live-on-tape video to get her through to the Saturday night final. It was always going to be an uphill battle and that proved to be the case, with Montaigne getting a whole heap of points from Ukraine and, erm, very little else. Others did score less, but she must be the unluckiest performer of all.

Montaigne is 27 today.

Happy birthday, Montaigne!