Monty’s Eurovision Countdown 2024 Part 11 – Estonia

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(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi by 5MIINUST x Puuluup

If you think that combination of song title and artist is exhausting to read well, let me tell you: I’m exhausted just copying and pasting it. It’s not the only thing about it which is banging on my last nerve either.

5MIINUST, I’m Google-informed, are a hip-hop group. They’re collaborating with Puuluup, a nu-folk group, for the Eurovision Song Contest. I use the term ‘song’ here very loosely. “The pairing of 5MIINUST x Puuluup is a wildly eclectic collaboration” according to the official Eurovision site, whose patience must be similarly tried having to word that in a positive-sounding yet ultimately ambiguous way. I’d have used a shorter, pithier adjective but, here we are.

The song is about drugs, or rather being assumed to be a drug user, in the sense of prejudicial assumptions being made because of who you are. It’s a worthy topic, particularly if you come from a place, as I do, where stop and search powers are so disproportionately applied based on assumptions of race. But worthy as the theme may be the entry itself does not pique my interest.

In fact, about the most interesting thing about it is – and save this up for a future pub quiz – it’s the longest Eurovision title, like evah! It snatches the title away from Valentina Moneta’s ‘The Social Network Song – (Oh Oh – Uh – Oh Oh)’, itself pushed 3 letters further by having to drop its original title due to Eurovision’s non-commercial rules.

If you took all the elements that I typically hate in a Eurovision song, including trying to be deliberately “We’re a bit mad, us” and blended them up with a double measure of “nobody’s going to get your joke outside of your country because it’s in foreign, innit” the resulting mulch would not be unakin to this. It is not a song for this author.

Nul pointsSomebody, please, make it stop. I can barely make it to the end just to review it.


Photo: Ken Murk/Err/EBU

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