Today in Parliament – The Eurovision edition – Day 1

Eurovision 2024 Accreditation

Hello Europe! Just when you thought you were getting away with it this year, no, I’m still here.

I guess I probably have to do my version of the standard 2024 disclaimer speech before I get going, so in short – yes. I know. I’m fully aware of the elephant. Tomorrow you can get deep on me, teach me all about philosophy, I won’t mind to listen all day long but for now I onl… hang on. I’ve heard that before. Where have I heard that before?

It is said that there are two kinds of people in this world. The first kind are those who can extrapolate from grossly insufficient data.


I’m not going to pretend that, too many years ago now, Fuego was a groundbreaking new way of doing Eurovision. But it was very good, and it made sense that having (re?)established a successful model it would be adopted and adapted by other artists for future editions.

It doesn’t surprise me to see that Silia appears to have adopted and adapted it. Early signs are that there’s enough choreo to keep things moving, but not so much that it disrupts actually singing the song well. They’re not giving much away here in these little vignettes.


She’s got us <<feeling like ooh-la-la>>– Cyprus’ Silia Kapsis if officially the first, first rehearsal! 🇨🇾 #Eurovision2024 @SILIA

♬ original sound – Eurovision


A song like this in a draw half like this was virtually doomed to perform second. It doesn’t doom a song to not qualify if it knocks it out of the park.

Sad girl being emotional on a rock also seems to be turning into a standard genre lately, and it’s pretty hit and miss whether songs of that kind find support with the voters. I don’t think Teya is making any obvious mistakes that I can see, but I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to punch its way out of a tough semi.


@TeyaDora is serving Serbian seaside songstress at first rehearsals in Malmö 🇷🇸 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


This should have been Ka-Boom and I am unanimous in this. However, most of Europe will never get to hear Ka-Boom so it’s not actually relevant.

I’d largely lost touch with contemporary music before Silvester was even born, so I haven’t the faintest idea whether this is contemporary, retro, or what. It owes something to Viskas Bus Gerai, a song I enjoyed in the 2001 Lithuanian final (though it’s a lot better than that), and most of Europe never heard Viskas Bus Gerai so it’s not actually relevant. TikTok hasn’t shown me anything that really surprises me. Have I written enough words yet?


It’s a luminous Luktelk on stage! @Silvester Belt hits rehearsals for Lithuania 🇱🇹 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


I have to say Linda Martin’s aged remarkably well.

[It’s NOT Linda Martin you fool! Phil]

Apparently it’s not Linda Martin. It’s genuinely pleasing to see Ireland trying something out of their usual safe zone, and I think they might just reap some rewards from it – it’s got the same kind of contrasting shades of harshness and softness that carried Hatari a long way up the leaderboard a few years back, it looks like it’s absolutely all in on its artistic vision and there’s no reason why this shouldn’t follow a similar trajectory over the last couple of weeks.


@Bambie has cast hues of Doomsday Blue onto the Malmö Arena stage 🇮🇪 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


Every year the polls and the punters tell me that something is very good and I look blankly and say “Umm… ok?”. Generally the polls and the punters make me look silly, but not always.

I’m not loving this. I’m not loving the song, I’m not loving the stylings, I think we’re going to be seeing some being emotional on a rock… this had really better come to life with the TV camera angles, because my hunch remains that this is a rare dip from Ukraine’s usual stellar track record.


Ukraine’s @Альона Альона & @Jerry Heil are born to perform 🇺🇦 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


I’m not going to get into any arguments with Luna. She could have someone’s eye out with those shoulders. I’ve already been kicked in the shins by Edsilia Rombley (not a euphemism) in the past, I’m not following up by getting a Polish shouldercone in the face.

Having said that this is one of those dangerous confections that I really rather enjoy while it’s playing but it’s melted away like candyfloss in Fanta 30 seconds after it finishes. I think it looks like there’s enough going on here to carry it to the final. I think.


Poland’s @LUNA 🌙 is queen of the castle on the Malmö rehearsal stage 🇵🇱 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


When I heard earlier in the year that something called Rim Tim Tagi Dim in Croatia was attracting attention, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear and my first listen came with extreme prejudice.

It’s bloody GOOD though, isn’t it? The lad’s absolutely grown into it over the spring, HRT have realised their initial mistake and gone absolutely all in on it – it was fine at Dora but it looks more polished and absolutely sparkles in the little shreddings of rehearsal that have been put on the internets.

I got each-way money on this at about 10/1 immediately after it won Dora, to win the whole thing. There’s nothing here that makes me regret it.


Cats, assemble! Cows, unite! @The Baby Lasagna Official smashed first rehearsals! 🇭🇷 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


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