The Netherlands – In sheep’s clothing
For me, there was a lot wrong here. Firstly let me be clear, the song itself is a cracker and, as expected, Duncan delivered all...
Norway – In the style of …
Keiino and their chums decided on a minimalist staging approach. Another f**king song with a black background and the three of them using all...
Albania – What was that?
Next Thursday, Albania follows Russia onto the stage. And if you thought Sergey went big on effects, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Unfortunately, the...
Russia – mmm, do you smell the saline?
The first thing to tell you is that there were a lot of mirrors and screens to get on stage. All in the 32...
Lithuania – He still has lovely hair
Jurij was all alone on stage and looked down the camera a lot. Phil, why are you telling us this? Because that was pretty...
Malta – Undoing the magic of Television
I'm going to let you into a secret here, OnEuropeans, the Maltese appeared to be using a classic trick to fool us into believing...
Croatia – just when you thought you’d seen everything
For the last twenty years (yes, seriously, we are that old) OnEuropeans have crawled from their Eurovision beds and thought: "Surely, surely Croatia would...
Sweden – Too late for losing?
So, for reasons known only to the Eurovision firmament (and possibly Christer Bjorkman), the Swedes have once again secured almost the same staging used...
Austria – In living colour (oh wait)
The question that ran through my mind was: has this been hiding in plain sight? Paenda has just completed her second run-through and she...
Denmark – Has she got the motion?
Click + above to see what is lacking in this performance: a Simon Snorkel lift to get Thumbelina Leonora into her chair. She actually...