LIVE BLOG: Second semi final – Jury Show

That's everything from the world of Eurovision for today - It has been a very very long day at the grindstone and I need some time away and, indeed, some food.  

A quick reminder of my ranking you say?

Sweden

Czech Republic

San Marino

Serbia

Poland

Ireland

Belgium

Romania

Estonia

Azerbaijan

Georgia

Montenegro

Cyprus

Australia

North Macedonia

Finland

Malta

Israel

Now, there will be NO blog of the 3rd rehearsal tomorrow lunchtime, cos I don't care about that, but Shai will, deliberately this time, be live blogging the Semi Final.  

The German postcard is at the Lingotto FIAT Factory - which is walking distance from where I should be staying - the bastards!

It's already been a long Eurovision day here at Chez Phil and it gets longer when Malik, who is a candidate for deliberate last, gets onto stage. 

He just looks hateful when he sings this song and sounds hateful. 

He's not the only that hates it. 

If Chanel is going for the lowest common denominator vote then Sam has got his broad brush out (fnarr) and is coverinig as many bases as possible. 

He gets a massive cheer before his postcard starts.

There is an ease about him singing this song and its very easy for me to get carried away very quickly with the "it's not shit" vibe. 

It's not shit - It's far from shit.  I have 0 issues with him being able to sing this song, unlike in previous years.  Objectively I have no issues saying this is going to be in the Top 10 and i'm not mental either. 

Brilliant performance.  Clapping before the end of it.  

So Spain are up first of the three that are left.

The start of the song reminds me of I Wanna but more pertenently, is this a case of style over substance like Albania was last night. 

At least Chanel seeming has some talent but again it's the gays and the dads that will like this.  Spanish fans are going to be disapointed on Sunday morning when this, inevitably, doesn't win or come close. 

So we are back and they will interview the three of the big 5 before they sing. 

Spain comes on first, and it's Chanel.  She's an actress and a "singer" - apparently playing (with) herself is easier than playing a part. 

Sam on next.  He works the crowd and is properly bouncy. Even the clip gets a cheer. 

Malik is on next and blends into the background, like his song.  It's a "Schooltrip with Friends".  No

There is going to be some sort of break gubbins going on with Laura and Mika singing, and then Spain, UK and Germany are going to sing live to be recorded for tomorrow. 

I'm nipping away, i shall be back!

Feel free to point and laugh - I know you will. 

Sweden

Czech Republic

San Marino

Serbia

Poland

Ireland

Belgium

Romania

Estonia

Azerbaijan

Georgia

Montenegro

Cyprus

Australia

North Macedonia

Finland

Malta

Israel

(Caserta)

And finally - Czech Republic (Not Czechia, cos that's stupid). 

We are Domi werent happy at their run through or their replay earlier on this afternoon, but I could not tell the difference between the performances because Domi actually hid it quite well. 

This is a lovely slice of electronica that gets the crowd cheering and, presumably, clapping.  they seem more comfy with their surroundings and are giving it large.  It would not have been out of place in Benny Benassi's set last evening but thankfully, this is much more competitive. 

Top 2 in this semi performing 17 and 18? - I think so. 

Massive cheer and the band are all smiles at the end of it. 

(Rimini)

Apparently Cornelia was unwell when they asked her back to have another go this afternoon, lets hope it wasnt the plague, mind you with all the other foul ups on her performances this week, nothing would surprise me. 

Sweden is still a default answer to the question "Who is winning, Phil?" most years and it would be easy/lazy to bet against them this time.  Cornelia gets through a performance unhindered and it looks and sounds just like it did in MF.  We know what that means, Europe, though, are seeing a woman emoting literally all over the place.

Contender to win this bit? - Yes.

Contender to win the whole lot? - Yes.. If not for war. 

(Perugia)

In his afternoon rehearsal he was heard, quite loudly, to say "Fuck this shit" when he was having in ear problems - his re-run was a gazillion times better - so lets see which Jeremie turns up shall we?

He nails the glissando on the first chorus and I am encouraged - it sounds a million times stronger than it has done all week and that carries on throughout all of the performance.  The backing track is helping but thankfully not to the degree it has been - maybe all he needed was the contest to be here. 

He's a bit weaker on the high notes in the last chorus but nothing disasterous. 

Yeah, like that one. 

"What's this?" I said to myself - Montenegro - "Ufff".  

Writing a song in compound time is hard.  Singing one is even harder but then strap on a massive LED Sun (cos the one on the stage is fucked) is handicapping Vladana before she starts. 

She's twenty lengths behind the field out of the gate and try as she might, she isn't making any ground up and they won't know why.  This is Balkan woman-type person ballad by numbers. 

Unforgiveable? no, just unmemorable. 

In rehearsal this afternoon, well the second go at it, Ochman was in smart casual tshirt and jeans and dancerless. 

Tonight he is in full insurance salesman chic replet with dancers.  I still think he looks like Aaron from Emmerdale, but i'm old. 

Make no mistake, this is a great song where he is pouring his heart out and is expressive in every glance and gesture, plus he is note perfect.  The water graphic overlay looks a lot better than it did earlier. 

This should do really well in this bit, it's going to absorb lots of high jury scores, does it have enough for your casual voter to give it a few? - I think so. 

(La Castella)

Here is the first of the six that had in-ear monitor problems earlier on in the day and we start with WRS and his mysterious pants. 

He is clearly more dancer than singer as his voice, like Cyprus, seems a little bit thin in parts and then on the flip side of that really strong in others. the audience, woken from their drink induced comas, get right behind this one and give it the old clapping and cheering. 

My only issue is that its a little bit negatively shot on the cameras.  It's definitely Spanish inspired, thats for sure.  If it beats Chanel i'll laugh my arse off!

San Marino

Serbia

Ireland

Estonia

Azerbaijan

Georgia

Cyprus

Australia

North Macedonia

Finland

Malta

Israel

(Sacra di San Michele)

i may have labelled STEFAN as a perennial loser but he's definitely winning in this bit.  This song has a something that I have overlooked before now.  It has a sing along quality that he is not shy in pushing and bearing what has gone on tonight, this holds it's own.  The Sepia and the letterboxing are all invoking the spaghetti western thing without saying it. 

The crowd are clapping along and Stefan gets them going. 

Yup.  He'd best extend his hotel reservation!

(Cala Luna)

You dont want to test my limits - something tells me you're not listening. 

Yup.

The faux scandal that MRT has whipped up seems to have taken its toll here.  Andrea mumbles the first verse and throughout the rest of the song looks pretty angry - her voice, though, is spot on. 

I've just turned off after the first 30 seconds and that is a problem because if I am not engaged - who else will be? She wants to be anywhere but there at the end of the song. and runs off. 

(Matera - I remembered this time!)

Brooke has been getting better and better all week and now is her chance to shine - at least for the juries and the 6 press watching. 

A proper slice of pop that gets the arena clapping, perhaps after the slow and slower combo that they have just had, they are literally gagging for something that would wake them from their stupor. 

This vocal line is a darn sight stronger than the one that has gone before and it doesn't look as amateur as some of the staging.  If there is any justice this should be going through to the final and that will be enough for Ireland. 

Well done Brooke, you have taken the Late Late show and ignored it!

I was still trying to fathom out what was next and missed the location of the postcard.  Then I realised it was Cyprus. 

This still has a wafer-thin vocal line relying heavily on the fact that this is from the country of Aphrodite and she is standing either in a massive fanny or a venus clam shell - pick your poison. 

The Cypriots in the croud love this but, as I believe I have said, when your voice is so thin and you are relying on your looks as opposed to your voice, this one is struggling as well. 

(MART Rovereto)

I need a cold shower after that - thankfully we get one here in the shape of Australia.

If Achille Lauro turned you gay, then Sheldon will turn you back again.  This is nothing other than a three minute whinge at me personally for him being different.  

No, sweet, Achille is Different - you are just the sasme as other people.  He does, though, arguably, have the best voice in the contest and if the Barbara Dex award was still being given then this white trouser suit with a reverse feather boa would be a candidate. 

Europe will have turned off mentally cos they too feel dirty.  Sheldon has a battle to qualify here. 

Another pause as the Diamonte Rodeo horse comes onto stage... and I believe Achille Lauro has a prop as well!

If notes mattered to Emma, they certainly don't to Achille because he is fucking showbiz in all its forms.  The crowd are literally going mental on the feed that I can see so lord knows how loud they are in the hall. 

I feel dirty watching this and I love every second of it.  He even kissed the backing singer - this could literally go anywhere from here on it, because he doesn't give a care!

The Rodeo horse has tassles on because, why the hell not!

That.Was.Genius. 

and now, a break looking back at Sanremo. 

It's an Italian story - it's like a test match - 5 days where nothing much happens and their might not even be a winner!

Serbia

Azerbaijan

Georgia

Finland

Malta

Israel

(St Galgarno Abbey)

I don't care - I love this song - so much so that I have had it in the OnEuroope comedy bet to see who does worse out of some shite songs! -  I let out a cry of pain as Emma starts singing because her tuning isn't exactly on point and she's still wearing that dress with the mirror tiles all over it. 

As the song goes on, she misses some more key notes and it just leaves me feeling as though its amateur hour.  She misses some more as she walks to the satellite stage and at this point the game is up.  It gets no more in tune on their either. 

Sorry Malta, not this year. 

(Burano)

Long shots of the hall proceed this song because they have to get the two massive staircases off the stage and all of Circus Mircus' gubbins on in 30 odd seconds, no mean feat that but they do it, just about. 

The contrast between this and Azerbaijan is laid bare by the neon backing lighting and and the uptempo prog rock (so I am led to believe) sound that this is giving out. 

It's the musical equivalent of a hipster on a penny farthing drinking some Punk IPA and I get the feeling it is too clever by half to appeal to enough people for it to finish very highly.  Some of the long notes aren't quite in tune but, as with Song 7, it doesn't matter but it is, again, one chorus too long. 

(Varenna)

So the comedown of all comedowns after that bonkers is next, Azerbaijan.  Nadir must be cursing his bad luck being after Serbia and before Georgia because he could just about sing anything and no one will care!

Don't get me wrong, as a stand alone song there is nothing wrong with the song.  He sings it really well and the choreography is subtle to the point of being non existant and thats the point, it's *too* subtle for all the mental in this semi final.  It will just get forgotten in the mind melt of what has been and what is to come. 

Sorry. 

(Rocca Calascio)

Well this afternoon this was all shades of bonkers and better than most of the songs in the First Semi Final put together.  With the subtitles this looks really effective on stage and Konstrakta even brings her own soap - Pears or Imperial Leather, enquiring minds want to know!

My worry is that the real story, her mate being denied healthcare and basically look after yourself, will not be told in the 30 seconds and the only thing people will get told is "Megan Markle is referenced" - I don't care, anything to get this through. 

It is, by a mile, the best thing we have seen and heard so far and the crowd are clapping along as well. Excellent stuff. 

The idea behind israel’s song is sound enough, it’s just the execution that I object to. Michael is very out there and outlandish in real life but I think that aiming for a demographic that is small enough to start with is not the way to go, especially in this semi final with lots of stronger songs. 

Vocally he is OK but that's all it is - OK.  He is trying too hard for me when he just needs to sing the song.  The whoopsies in the crowd predictably like it, but then again they liked Albania last night ( no, not stopped laughing about that yet).

Has this got appeal? - well if I am ranking Finland in front of it, we must be in the realms of the strange.  It's just a mince-fest. 

It's also one chorus too long for it to be sensible as well.  

So after some laboured business and three minutes shorter than last night we are off to the Fusine Lakes which can only mean Finland. 

This looks as under rehearsed and as messy as the presenters did at the afternoon rehearsal. I just don’t get the staging concept of all the balloons and it looks like a rock version of the film “Up”, though the one in your nightmares.  Clearly a band past its best and this gets old quickly, a bit like them. The yellow and black makes them look like wasps - and angry ones at that.  I don't also like how discordant the backing track is either. 

Are they going to get enough votes on their name alone.  They shouldn't.  

Mika is in Canary yellow and Laura is in some sort of crimson.... thing...  

I still don't know what Alessandro brings to proceedings - I'm sure he's just the cute to counter act Mika

Hello everyone - seems as though the italians are taking the piss out of themselves.  Three minutes to showtime and they dont know what to do. 

Yes, yes that's RIGHT!

and mine - I had to remember I was doing this one and I agreed to it!!

No Matter its only been several minutes since the last rehearsal ended - i'm living in Perpetual Eurovision at the moment!