Today in Parliament – The Eurovision edition – Day 3

Greetings, greetings you lovely people! It’s been pointed out to me by the voices in my head that there is actually quite a bit more to work with out there than just the ticky-tocky thingy-wingies that I’ve been forming my opinions from.

I can’t deny it. It’s true. But I’m quite invested in doing this moderately badly at this stage, so it seems fair that everyone gets the same slapdash treatment.

It’s been another busy day of tennis on the outside courts, with several seeds in action. We join the action with Malta about to serve, in at least one respect of the word.


I think an amateur genealogist could draw a line of descent through Fuego, SloMo and this and it wouldn’t be a very long line. Still, until it stops working why not keep doing it?

I don’t know what to say really. Pretty girl sings and dances well enough, skin is shown, Mr Olafsson accidentally sets fire to the newspaper again and Mrs Olafsson rolls her eyes again. Take another straw out of the Kerplunk tower and hope that this isn’t the one where the mule kicks.


Malta’s @Sarah Bonnici has got the m-m-m-moves 🇲🇹 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision



The showstopper challenge for this year’s Great Eurovision Sewing Bee seems to be “sleeves but wrong”. I blame Käärijä almost entirely for this trend. You never saw a dodgy sleeve in Cliff Richard’s day.

There’s a lot of confident sleevework on show here, and in a possible reaction to Ronela a couple of years ago absolutely everything is being left to the imagination. Musically Besa is going to be strong and resilient against the challenges that face her, like John Major strongly and resiliently responding to a disappointing opinion poll or me strongly and resiliently not reading the comments.

It’s a fruit shortcake biscuit in song form, basically. There are a couple in the Family Circle box every Christmas and it’d be weird if there weren’t.


A TITAN of a first rehearsal from Albania’s @Besa 🇦🇱 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


I will watch my step, because I note that Greece have a fanbase this year and I’ve miffed Greek fanbases before. There are two schools of thought here. One (which might well prevail) is that Zari superbly reinvents and puts a modern spin on classical Greek rhythms and styles.

The other is that the violin, the drums and the kvinnaböske might make it all feel a little bit old fashioned. This can easily be fixed by adding a DJ who pretends to scratch. In real life of course, this is thirty years old, but in Eurovision, it will give your number a contemporary feel.

It doesn’t really work for me, it’s very disjointed and the bits don’t really fit together, but I’m sure younger fans will tell me that this is what’s hep and swinging these days.


Put your hands up! @SATTI just achieved pop perfection at Greece’s first rehearsal 🇬🇷 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


Let me declare an interest here. I’m on board with the prevailing view that Nemo is the year’s most likely winner. I think they have Sam Ryder vibes in a year without a Kalush.

Let me explain. The song’s very original (well, putting all these specific bits together in this specific order is, anyway), and Nemo gets to show off everything they can do. Not everyone can be Eminem and Montserrat Caballe in the same song. Juries are going to gobble it up.

I’ve seen some criticism of the outfit choices, but to me it looks cosy and welcoming like the tray of coconut ice I made that didn’t really set properly in Year 3 cookery class but turned out to be delicious anyway. Mr Olafsson is going to NOTICE this, and I think it will be in a positive way.

Does Nemo win both constituencies, juries and locals? Of course not, nothing does these days. But they’re the most likely to be near the podium with both. I am impressed.


When @nemothingsss said “Welcome to the show,” they meant it! Here’s how their first rehearsal looked 🇨🇭 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


I can’t think of anything like this previously in Eurovision, which is remarkable considering it would have fitted perfectly well in a 1978 or 1979 edition of Top of the Pops and things don’t usually take quite this long to translate to the contest.

Although it’s a solid chunk of new-ish wave, I also can’t decide whether I like it. Aiko is going to be strong and resilient against the challenges that face her, like Besa, but I’m not absolutely certain from the music video that she isn’t being strong and resilient in the same way that Nora Batty was strong and resilient against Wally.

She might be committing the cardinal sin of absolutely going off on one against the poor innocent voter at home that she wants to vote for her. Not sure.


You say icon, we say @Aikomakesmusic! Either way, there’s no coming down off that Pedestal 🇨🇿 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


Many years ago I did Heaven Is A Place On Earth at a karaoke night. The poor old song has never been the same since.

I mention this because if back in 1991 I’d got DJ Eki Tump to do an absolutely BANGING remix of me doing Heaven Is A Place On Earth at a karaoke night… it wouldn’t necessarily not have sounded like We Will Rave.

Leaving that detail to one side, I’ve always had concerns about translating anything like this to a live performance on a Eurovision stage. This doesn’t look like the worst attempt I’ve ever seen, and I’m not as worried by the vocals as I thought I might be. It might do better that I thought it was going to. I’m on the fence.

I wonder if Anna Bergendahl’s 10,000 unused glowsticks still work, assuming they’re still in a Malmo warehouse?


Rum-di-dum-dum rehearsals have started for Austria, and the lasers are out for @kaleenmusic 🇦🇹 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision


I have a theory about this. I think it’s either not even qualifying or it’s going to be in the final split-screen on Saturday night. There’s no middle ground. Forget Italy, forget France, even forget Switzerland – THIS is the jury bait.

So having made that bold claim, do I think it’s even qualifying? With reservations, yes I do. We’re not rich in entries this year where the singer stands alone on stage and just belts out a belter, and done this well it makes it stand out from the crowd. Reservations? Always – there’s a lot happening in the second half of this semi and there are memory holes to fall down.

All the same, this is very good and the final would benefit from it being there.


@SABA got to have her first run-through of SAND at Malmö Arena, and it was an epic display 🇩🇰 #Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision



Powerful majestic start? Check. Drums? Check. Kvinnaböske? Check. Costumes? CHECKCHECKCHECK! Petra will be thrilled!

Remember when nobody saw Treneletul coming a couple of years ago? Or Keiino a couple of years before that? We’re slow learners around these parts, and we’re so enamoured with Joost and Baby that I don’t think we’ve seen this coming either. Just on snippets alone there’s a LOT of televotes in this.

I don’t think it wins the contest. I don’t think the juries go for it big time. But I do think it’s podium on Thursday night and an absolutely rock solid top 10 on Saturday.


Bags of energy and bursts of colour – @LADANIVA are leaving their mark in Malmö 🇦🇲 Eurovision2024

♬ original sound – Eurovision

Lots to like today, and that was a good way of serving out the day’s play just before the council curfew kicked in. We’ll be back tomorrow for what looks like an intriguing encounter featuring Roscoe Tanner and Sue Barker. See you there!

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